Diagnosis

[Therivercontinueson]

Just to preface this with that I went NC with my Nfamily last July, and this site was a huge help. Thank you to everyone for your wisdom and stories.

I just went to a psychiatrist for the first time in 15 years. 15 years ago, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and was told (with my parents support) that I had treatment resistant depression. My parents did such a good job at convincing the doctors they were loving people, that no doctors recognised I was being abused at home. I then moved away from home and felt immediately better.

Fast forward to now, I went to a psychiatrist recently as I have been feeling stressed, and I received a C-PTSD diagnosis. It surprised me how validating it would feel - the doctor essentially told me it was "extremely obvious" that was the issue all along. It just shook me how my Nparents actions were missed all those years, and how much the doctors had let me down. I didn't expect how validated I felt with the diagnosis as well.

I'm looking forward to the treatment in a way, and to hopefully approach my past with some more thoughtful care, gentleness, and support.

[Rebel13]

Hi river,

I also recently met with a new therapist. I told her one story about my mother, the one that happened right before I went NC last year. I'd been really careful to not label my mother, but the therapist said, "I would definitely say your mom is a narcissist." I also received a tentative trauma-related diagnosis. I felt so much relief! I've been in therapy on and off, various modalities, and this is the FIRST time any therapist has ever said out loud that either of my parents were abusive (although they both obviously are) and that the problems I struggle with were due to growing up with them. I'm honestly shocked at how relieved I feel. Even though I've been telling myself these things for years, it was so cool to have a professional say them to me. So I'm right there with you. I hope your therapy relationship keeps being good and helpful! I'm cautiously optimistic about mine.

[NarcKiddo]

I've been in therapy for a couple of years now. I do not have a formal diagnosis, nor do I particularly want one. (There is no question of needing one for insurance or health care where I live - I have to pay for my own therapy and I don't want medication.)

I am very sure that I have CPTSD and my therapist works with me on trauma issues and the working hypothesis that both parents are narcs.

It took me a long time to accept that my childhood was abusive. None of my trauma was Big T trauma that outsiders would automatically recognise as such. When my therapist actually said in terms that my childhood was abusive I, too, was astonished about how relieved I felt to have that validation.

(By the way, the sister site to this, Out Of The Storm, is specifically dedicated to people with CPTSD so you may find some useful resources there if you are not already familiar with it.)

[Bdb89207]

Thank you for sharing your story. I actually recently received a CPTSD diagnosis and was surprised at how validating it was. It really made me understand that there was nothing bad, wrong, or defective about me, I just grew up in a toxic home and had unprocessed trauma related to it. Overall, it gave me hope that whatever survival mechanisms and behaviors I learned could also be unlearned.

My therapist recently recommended a treatment called EMDR to expedite my healing and its already helped so much. I had the opportunity to grieve for childhood experiences that I tucked away and I feel like a weight was lifted off of me.

I wish you the best along your healing journey but encourage you to be kind and patient with yourself.  Awareness is the first step, and you should be proud to take such a brave step to talk about the trauma experienced and to seek help and support.

Reminding myself of the same as well.