Divorced

[Capoy]

Hello,

I have been divorced and no contact with my ex husband since 2020. Adult kids have had no contact for 6 years. All of our contact before that for two years was through email only. I wanted everything in writing. I kicked him out as he had a gf and for some reason though he could have his family and his gf, nope final straw. Divorce was a nightmare, tried to leave us homeless with nothing and moved into his gf's right away, they are still together. He has tried to send random emails periodically from 2020 to 2023 and I never responded to one. Tonight I get a random message on Instagram (I have privacy settings on everything so he can see nothing of mine and so do the kids) from someone I did not know. I clicked on it and it is him sending my my fav Pearl Jam song Black. Wtf?

He was diagnosed by a psychologist with antisocial, negativistic and dependent personality disorders.

Why is he doing this after so long? Any thoughts?

[notrightinthehead]

Welcome!
I guess it's not so smooth with his gf at the moment.

[firepoetry]

Time is eternal for personality disordered people. Yes, maybe his other relationship is not keeping him supplied.

My Nex was seemingly stable for years, and then his girlfriend broke up with him, and I have become a target again. It's like they have a book of people who have provided him supply before, and when his current supply is drained, he goes back to the book and targets all the people who have provided supply for him before to see if they will again.

[bloomie]

Capoy - welcome to Out of the FOG! I am thankful you have joined the community! There is something uniquely empowering and stabilizing when we enter into conversations with people who 'get it'. I hope your time here is of great help and encouragement!

I have observed a pattern in my own life with a certain type of difficult, high conflict person that they circle back around to past relationships when they have exhausted their current supply. Attempting to fan the flames by sending you a song that shows... he knows you, remembers.

Thankfully, you are a rock star already and have not responded to him! 

[Capoy]

I got another message later on last night too. Referencing us in high school. We started dating in high school and were together for 27 years. Again I did not reply.

Supposedly he is sending his Mom weird messages too. I have a great relationships with his Mom and his parents don't talk to him either. They have been seriously ill over the past year and me and the kids have been helping them. Cutting their lawn, staying with them after surgeries etc. They come to my place for Xmas lol. He has not been helping them at all and they don't really talk to him if at all.

It's all very strange.

[NBRiverGuy]

It's all very strange.

That is the understatement of the century! That should be the title of this whole forum.

[MaxedOut]

That should be the title of this whole forum.
[/quote]

Tagline!

Reading your initial post I thought "sounds like the ex lost the PD supply and found the booze supply."