what to do after person with personality disorder is out of one's life?

Started by Poison Ivy, October 23, 2024, 04:07:49 PM

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Poison Ivy

Hi. As I posted a few months ago, coworkers and I were dealing with a "bad" boss for several months this year. We found out this morning that the person no longer works for our organization. It's a relief. But I and at least some team members feel traumatized and think that we might continue to feel this way for a long time. Does anyone have suggestions for caring for ourselves and each other now? Thanks.

xredshoesx

congrats for making it to that finish line with a horrible boss. we still have ours and nothing is changing for now so everyone is focusing on using our contract to fight out issues with not following the agreements with our local and letting the arbitrators figure it out.....

our HR / upper mgmt took us through a course of working on better communication building to try to improve what that looks like/ sounds like in our building.  so far it hasn't made a difference bc our boss still thinks she does nothing wrong or doesn't play favorites.  I wonder if you all could do something for yourselves like a potluck to 'welcome the new boss' but it's really your repass for letting the old one go along their way.

Rebel13

I agree that symbolic acts can be really powerful, so maybe find some low-key but meaningful way to mark the passage of the old boss, either for yourself or the whole group if it's comfortable.

Another thing I might do is spend some time thinking about the upsetting behaviors he engaged in, and recognize what future situations might set off "flashbacks" in yourself; that is, when you might have feelings that are overly intense regarding a future situation that reminds you of the past, but actually ISN'T the same. Like, if your old boss always melted down when a certain thing happens, you might find yourself getting upset or reacting when that thing happens, even if the new boss doesn't act the same way. That's easier said than done, I know, but it's really helpful if you can do it.
"Being humanitarian, being kind and loving, does not include entrusting my life or well-being to anyone whose intention or unconscious direction is to cause me harm. I am here to enjoy the life that Mother Earth gave me." ~ Ellen Jean Zoltak