Hello. New here.

[brokenheartedmom]

I am the mother of an adult son who has bipolar disorder and is very cruel and aggressive. He has been homeless many times, needing money, food, shelter. It's exhausting.     He doesn't keep a job for more than a couple weeks and then he's on to the next one. Everything in his life is somehow my fault and I've never given him enough, so he says. I know I should go "no contact" but it's very hard.  I want to know he's okay. He does live in a different state than I do so that helps. But when I do text him he will say such abusive things that I don't want to ever hear from him again. He is single. No wife or kids. He scares me, worries me and depresses me. Like I said, it's exhausting dealing with him and very hurtful. Any advice is appreciated.

[bloomie]

brokenheartedmom - hi and welcome to Out of the FOG! I am thankful you have found us and yet, so very sorry for the difficulties you are facing with your son's mental health.

What a challenge to know just how much contact, if any, is wise and reasonable for you.

Something we do advocate for here is found in the 51% Rule, that suggests that in order to help anyone else we need to consider our needs a bit more than the needs of others. That seems like a good starting place as you consider the challenges and decisions you are facing.

This is a community of fellow travelers and we have put together resources, including a toolbox, that can be found at the drop down menus above. We also have supportive conversations taking place all over the forum boards.

When you are ready, join into the conversations. I look forward to supporting you.