Glad I found Out of the FOG

[Headfog]

Hello,

I discovered this forum and the Out of the FOG website a little while ago but have only now signed up to say hello (and thank you). 👋

Since coming across Out of the FOG it's become a really useful resource which I keep revisiting regularly to help me navigate my relationship with my uNPD mother (and enabler/echoist father).

Like many others, I first came across the concept of FOG through Susan Forward's book Emotional Blackmail. Even though I wasn't completely blind to what was going on in my relationship to my mother/parents, the idea of being in the FOG/Out of the FOG really helped me open my eyes to the manipulation that was, and still is, going on.

I'm really happy to have stumbled across this website and I find the Toolbox section especially helpful. Strategies like Grey Rock & Medium Chill are making a big difference to how I approach the limited contact I have with them. I also find that methods such as avoiding JADE (Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain) are incredibly useful to remember when communicating with them.

More recently I have started to set my own clear boundaries and as expected this is being met with hostility, but at the same time I'm able to recognise the manipulation & gaslighting for what it is. It feels good to be taking back some level of control by sticking to my boundaries rather than giving in to play "their game".

It's also been very inspiring, insightful and sad to read about people's experiences and challenges with the personality disordered people in their lives. I'm not usually one for posting anything online, but this forum seems really worth it to contribute to.

Thank you to those who put this website together and help run this forum, as well as to everyone who makes up this online community by listening to and encouraging each other. It makes a big difference to feel less alone with the "FOGGYness", to know there are others who can relate, and to have somewhere to go for advice and support. Thank you. 🙏

[bloomie]

Hi, Headfog and welcome to Out of the FOG!

I hope you will find great support and help for the continuing path you are on in your relationship with your parents as you spend time here.

There is something unique in this experience where we connect with others who share experiences that so closely match our own. This is a group of people that 'get it' in a way that is not easy to articulate or find in our every day life.

I look forward to seeing you out there on the boards and to supporting you!

[Headfog]

Thanks Bloomie!

[SonofThunder]

Another warm welcome to Out of the FOG!  Looking forward to the addition of your input in conversations around the boards. 

SoT

[Headfog]

Thank you!

[Defiantdaughter1]

I'm glad you found this forum. It's good to have a place to vent. I know exactly what you mean about emotional blackmail. It's hard, but eventually you'll find a way to detach from it. It takes practice and time.