Horrible dream

[walking on broken glass]

I had a horrible dream last night and I wanted to share it here, if that's ok.

*TW* Rape, sexual abuse


In my dream, my partner (or rather a partner, I couldn't identify him, he had no face), who also took the form of my sister, raped me while we were lying in bed. It was very graphic and I could feel the pain and the shock. I was crying and asking him to stop but he was saying he was almost done and I should be patient. When it was over, I ran to my mum to tell her (and this is when the person clearly turned into my sister, even though before it was anatomically male) and my mum said 'it's because you are always being so provocative' and didn't offer any sympathy. I went to my dad who was also indifferent. I was distraught and sought my friends, but when I tried to talk to them there were people around me spying on behalf of my sister. I was trying to get the words out but I was sobbing so hard, I was unable to speak. The partner/sister was saying I was making a big deal out of nothing. I felt like the pain was too much to take and I couldn't process how someone that I trusted and loved could do this to me. The world felt like a different, dangerous place.

It's not hard to surmise what inspired the dream (many of the feelings were familiar) but I can't explain why my subconscious chose to present the main act of harm in the form of rape. I have never suffered sexual abuse and I have never had dreams where I was raped before. And yet it was all very vivid and clear. It's left me very upset.

[Rebel13]

It sounds really upsetting! I'm sorry that happened to you. But it's also really clear that these relationships are painful. Sexual assault is a really fundamental example of disrespect for boundaries and a person's integrity and autonomy. So I wonder if it's symbolic of some of those feelings about how you are treated by your sister, and the way your mother doesn't recognize how harmful your sister's behavior, and your mother's acceptance of it, are for you?

I hope the pain and fear pass with time, and/or that you are able to glean some helpful insights at least.

[walking on broken glass]

Yeah, this is how I interpreted it as well. I have had recurring dreams about being falsely accused of stuff and not being heard, trying to give my perspective in vain etc but this was really violent and graphic, hence the lingering effect.

[Defiantdaughter1]

What an awful night. Do you journal? Sometimes it can help clarify things and reduce the frequency of bad dreams.

[walking on broken glass]

I did it in the past and I am thinking I should start doing it again, because ever since I stopped initiating contact with my sis (and probably because of all the other stressful stuff with my mum) I have been having lots of intense dreams, usually concerning family...