BPD a special gift?

[zad7242]

   Curious if anyone hears what I hear from my diagnosed BPD SO: "The books you read (Eggshells) about BPD are outdated. New research shows people with BPD are just misunderstood. When my tell my friends about my BPD they are supportive and say how people with BPD are often the most loving people they know." My SO is very good at owning how BPD affects her and I know she is constantly in significant psychological pain, but she never admits how BPD affects me. She once stated, "my BPD is a gift" because she thinks it makes her more sensitive to others and intuitive. I feel this invalidates my experiences of her.

    On a second note, does anyone experience their BPD loved one claiming to have special powers of intuition, prediction of the future, etc? My SO has had episodes of psychosis when especially stressed, but my wife consistently claims to have daily conversations with dead relatives (including my deceased 1st wife). She also says that she has dozens of "coincidences" a day that are signs for her. We are very religious/spiritual people ourselves, so I do believe in "God winks", and the spiritual realm, but for example she sees constant connections between her thoughts/worries/conversations and the topics of tv shows, books, and people's vanity license plates. Just want to see if this is common. Sometimes my wife refers to herself as a witch, in a half-joking manner.
   

[Lookin 2 B Free]

You sound like a very compassionate person, Zad.  I'd be interested in what any newer literature says about BPD.  Did she give you the sources she's reading?  My BPD/NPD ex definitely thought he was a gift ... and because of the NPD part, a gift much beyond anything I deserved - at least when he was splitting me black.  He rarely acknowledged any pain he caused me and took the victim stand instead.  And he didn't acknowledge any personality disorder though our couple's therapist did.

Any time I tried to mention how I was being hurt, I did it by referring to specific behaviors or words and never tied it to a diagnosis.  That didn't work either, as he was not willing to take responsibility for his misdeeds. 

The dozens of coincidences would concern me.  I didn't experience that with him.   With the few relatives I have, it's been the foreshadowing of a coming psychotic episode.  If she has a mental health professional she sees, maybe they can assess that. 

Best wishes for the two of you.  Let us know how you're doing.   

[Marianne]

I already answered in the other topic.

There's self-centered sensitivity (ouch you hurt me) and other-centered sensitivity (how can I help you). That is quite a difference.

Also, I agree: i've had trauma related psychosis and this is how i was leading up to that. It is worrying.

[NBRiverGuy]

Unlike narcissists, it is not uncommon for borderlines to let their PD flag fly. Seeking out sympathy and attention are hallmarks of the illness even if that means using the illness to get those things.