2024 goals and hopes

[Poison Ivy]

I wish for all of us better experiences in 2024. I hope that my mom continues to settle into her new space (a memory care facility) and that I can get some distance from my siblings' getting-mom-into-a-memory-care-facility angst.

[Hopeful Spine]

I hope to focus more on the positive changes in my life and less on the people that annoy/disappoint me.  I want to use my goal of decorating my home as my main focus so that I can gain a sense of peace and "home".  With my busy, happy, productive activities I will have less time to judge others.

[Call Me Cordelia]

In 2024 we are expanding the backyard "homestead". More vegetable beds, fruit trees, and adding chickens! We had chickens before we moved and I miss them.

I also have some fitness goals. Body armoring is a bitch and I want to be able to touch my toes! Upper body strength as well. Long term I want to be able to do a pull-up. Never could. Modest goals but I think they will take me quite some time to get there.

[Pepin]

I am hoping to really nail down more closure after the CN MIL years.  I think over time her presence in my life will become a faded memory. 

As for DH, I have a lot to work on with him.  I need to be more direct and clear with my communication and I am getting better at it.  I feel that he is declining across many areas in our marriage and getting away with it.  No more.  I am not tolerating immature or toddler like behavior.

As for things outside of the above, I will continue to update and maintain our home and yard.  I continue to be inspired now that I actually have the time and bandwidth to think without interruption.   

[losingmyself]

Happy New Year to everyone here!
This new year I am trying to find more time to enjoy my alone time, reading books, a passtime I used to really enjoy, but had to stop because XH didn't like not being the center of my attention.  Conversely, I would really like to make some equal-aged friends that I can hang out with. Sometimes I get lonely. I have anxiety thinking that I'm not interesting enough for anyone to want to hang around with,  though. 
I'm working on decorating my house so it feels like my own, inside and out. I can't wait for summer!
I also need to start journaling more.
And getting my body more healthy. I have lost weight, but also lost a great deal of muscles, so I need to work on that.
Big hopes for the new year! May we all meet our goals!

[square]

Happy new year everyone. Wishing you all a great one.

I've already posted about my goal to be more social.

I also expect this is the year I'll leave.

Hoo boy.

[xredshoesx]

my 'leaving goal' was more based on the timeframe surrounding the mourning period for my grandma but i like the idea of it being part of your 2024 NY resolutions for folks here who have been struggling to get out of a pd/ uPD relationship.

i'm trying to actually complete a knitting project this year, and to not stack stuff on the stairs leading to our attic.....  right now all that's left of the 2023 mess that was there are a bunch of games so it's a start vs various projects on each step going upstairs....

[SeaBreeze]

I left last year (will be one year this March) and accomplished quite a few goals (leaving, furnishing new home from scratch, changing jobs). So this year, my goal is...to find new post-PD goals. I've started an American Sign Language  class that's free online through my employer. I'm also rebuilding my savings since I spent most of it on starting over. Still trying to figure out who I am in this new post-PD world.

[Boat Babe]

The above all sounds groovy. I plan to improve my fitness, strength, flexibility etc. I want to consolidate my big reduction in drinking.  I want to go to as many gigs as possible. I will continue with climate activism. I will spend less time on screens and do more reading. I will continue with mental/emotional self care and personal growth. I hope to be a kinder, less reactive person with good boundaries.

Happy new year everyone xxxxxx

[Prototypian]

I personally want to get something big sold off that needs to be sold, finish a big project, publish some key papers, get the last kid off to college and learn to row a single rowing scull.

In my relationship with my uOCPD spouse I want to just have patience to weather everything.

[square]

Happy new year, everyone.

How did we all do in 2024?

What's on the horizon for 2025?

[square]

I met the really really big goal of leaving. Still can't believe it.

I didn't do as well on the goal to be more social, but I will try again this year. It just is so hard not seeing or hearing. I live in an apartment building and I should be smiing and saying hi to folks but I can't see them and I hear DD returning greetings I did not hear. The only one that I even know exists is a man DD mentioned who does always say hi and holds the door open. I feel incredibly awkward and the only reason I go out into the world without feeling horribly exposed is because I have a weird feeling of being completely invisible. I'm intellectually aware that other people surely see me though I don't see them, but I naturally feel invisible so I lean into it so I can just live my life.

I don't know how I can meet new people when I can't interact with new people normally. If someone gets to know me it's fine, but I have no hope of just recognizing someone or seeing a little thing to start a conversation with ("love your earrings" or "oh, I read that book last year, it was great").

H is a living contradiction, a hermit who hates humanity but meets people easily. He's an introvert, but a listener who draws people in. A long time ago I benefited from his skills, he could be the conduit to introduce me to people I could not otherwise start any connection with.

Maybe I will get lucky and meet a person who can also introduce me to others.

Anyway, other goals are just to get back on fitness (I quit when my name came up on the housing waitlist because I had zero extra bandwidth) and to get my stuff very very organized for my future of losing even more vision.

I also have contacted my state commission for the blind to get more training with my white cane because I absolutely stink at it. I want to be able to take the trash to the dumpster and check my mail in he mailroom without feeling emotionally drained by it. The issue is not looking like a complete fool. If the building were empty, I'd be able to do both right now - because I wouldn't care if I made a mistake.

[xredshoesx]

I finished my scarf on March break and have slightly improved on using the stairs to the attic as a storage area.  here's to continued survival and meeting small goals in 2025

[SeaBreeze]

Well, I didn't meet my goal of rebuilding my savings. I didn't finish the ASL class, either, though what I did learn was very interesting and piqued  youngest DS's interest in taking the same course.

I did achieve other goals I didn't lay out in this post. Like, my divorce was finalized! Also, I was promoted at work, twice, within just a few months of each promotion. I expected the first promotion but was pleasantly surprised by the second. I received 3 raises total, and I should receive my financial portion of the divorce settlement soon, so my savings WILL finally be rebuilt. Leading to my 2025 goal -- buying a house, maybe even buying land and having a house built on it?? I have ideas and I have options!!

[Poison Ivy]

My 2024 stunk but I'm intact.
My mother, age 96, is still alive; her memory, mobility, and emotional condition continue to decline.
The infant son and father-in-law of a friend of my older daughter were killed by a tree that uprooted after a thunderstorm. Daughter and I continue to question the meaning of existence.
A tree fell on my house during a storm. Fortunately, doggo and I were in the basement at the time and were not harmed. Repairs are almost finished.
My team had a terrible manager for several months. I was so stressed that I switched from full time to part time. The manager was fired about 1 month later. Oh, well.
I haven't made any resolutions for 2025.

[Rebel13]

I want to finish this course: https://www.globalcompassioncoalition.org/our-courses/the-7-steps-to-compassionate-living/

I have two sessions left.  I probably will go back and redo the sessions after I finish. Self-compassion is hard.

Then, I will try to incorporate the lessons into my life more. For example, I was just driving home from the supermarket and there was traffic nonsense in front of me. I started to tense up and get mad and frustrated at the other drivers. And then I remembered, you know what? You can't change them. Being distressed doesn't help you. So just calm down. And that helped me relax my muscles and take a deep breath and lighten my foot on the gas.

Moments like that would make my life a lot easier if I did them more often.

Cordelia, thank you for "body armoring"!  I didn't know about that as a concept although wow, I sure do know about it as an experience!!! It continually amazes me that there are words and research for things I thought were just personal oddity.

Happy New Year everyone and thank you for being here.

[Poison Ivy]

This forum is a life saver for me. Thank you!

[Lookin 2 B Free]

My main goal is to lighten up and expect less of myself.  I love this goal.

[Poison Ivy]

I'll adopt that goal, Lookin 2 B Free.