Those in contact with PD fam, how are the holidays going?

[mary_poppins]

Hey, I didn't post here in a while since I didn't need to. However, the holidays were tough because I am still in contact with PD family. I felt depressed and in a constant 'freeze' mode. A general state of being 'numbed out'. I hope next year will be different.

How was your Christmas?

[walking on broken glass]

Hi Mary Poppins!
I am sorry to hear you had a hard time. Please surround yourself with people who love you and get it. Holidays are a particularly triggering and difficult time of the year.

My mum had a very unexpected and shocking outburst just before Christmas and I am still trying to recover from the things she said. She also got a cancer diagnosis so things will be difficult to navigate for a while. My uBPD sis is there with her now and I am keeping my distance while she visits. I will call them to say Happy Nee Year and I already dread the conversation. Ugh

I hope next Christmas will be different too. One thing I have learned from this year's holidays is that from now on I will plan my schedule as I like, without giving in to feelings of obligation and guilt. At least I have been liberated from that.

[Rebel13]

One thing I have learned from this year's holidays is that from now on I will plan my schedule as I like, without giving in to feelings of obligation and guilt. At least I have been liberated from that.

Yay!  Let's all get that t-shirt.

[blacksheep7]

Hi

I am nc with FOO, going on eight years. No problem there....But

My forty something son  The gift that keeps on giving, all in the family   I had my christmas day yesterday since son-i-l and dd had Covid.

He was eight when I divorced his father and asked to go live with him, daughter stayed with me. They were together on weekends.

Anyway, ds needs sooooooooooo much attention, just like his father did and thinks he is funny when in fact he is annoying.  Talks loud and makes you feel like s**t when you don't know something.  Has to make a case out of every question or comment I make and no it's not just me....exhausting.  Usually this happens when he has an audience, like yesterday.

I stopped inviting them during the year(son and daughter) because they used to gang up on me. Yesterday my daughter was defending me! I told her to stop playing his game, to stop the conversation. They are very close but it is starting to get to her.

All I could think is that I am glad to have come Out of the FOG and this community to be able to handle the situation, JADE  Otherwise, very LC. He is not interested, doesn't call unless has a reason. Visit, nothing, nada. His world.

It just saddens me, no resentment or anger. Nothing I can do.

Wishing you all a Peaceful New Year

[Rebel13]

I'm so sorry blacksheep7. It's very, very sad how much fallout there is from the bad behavior of PDs. I think about this every time I reflect on the jagged relationship I have with my brother because of my mom's drama, triangulating, scapegoating, love bombing, and other obnoxious behaviors over our whole lifetimes. I'm really sorry your relationship with your son is another casualty.

[Liketheducks]

Just saying, we all deserve the tee-shirt.  Made out of super comfy fleecy wonderfulness.   Hang in there.

[mary_poppins]

Hi Mary Poppins!
I am sorry to hear you had a hard time. Please surround yourself with people who love you and get it. Holidays are a particularly triggering and difficult time of the year.

My mum had a very unexpected and shocking outburst just before Christmas and I am still trying to recover from the things she said. She also got a cancer diagnosis so things will be difficult to navigate for a while. My uBPD sis is there with her now and I am keeping my distance while she visits. I will call them to say Happy Nee Year and I already dread the conversation. Ugh

I hope next Christmas will be different too. One thing I have learned from this year's holidays is that from now on I will plan my schedule as I like, without giving in to feelings of obligation and guilt. At least I have been liberated from that.

I like the change you made in your mindset. You deserve to use your time as you like.
No, Xmas wasn't that bad but I wish I could celebrate it without these toxic people in my life. I was in no contact for a long time and during Christmas I felt free and so relaxed. such times..