ASPD

[Trinity85]

I'd really love to talk to anyone who is in a relationship with someone with ASPD. I feel at times like I am crazy and losing my mind because so much of the relationship appears normal - and actually feels normal - but there is a whole secret other life of compulsive cheating, financial sketchiness and god-only-knows what else. The behavior is not just normal bad behavior - it is madness and yet he seems sane. It has been a lot to process - finding out the person that you thought you knew is not that person. It's hard to know what is real. And the trauma is extensive. It has taken me years to get my feel back under me - to see through all the tricks, the gaslighting and emotional manipulation to be able to have any kind of "normal" conversation with him. I know I have to leave but the pain seems to keep me stuck. It is hard to face that much hurt. But I have to find a way before the next cycle starts because it is always a cycle and I can now see that it is abuse. It would be great to hear from others who have been in this place.

[Poison Ivy]

Hello, Trinity85. What is ASPD? I ask because I don't know whether my ex-spouse is a person with ASPD, but he did repeatedly engage in financially sketchy behavior. But not secretly.

[Trinity85]

Hello, Trinity85. What is ASPD? I ask because I don't know whether my ex-spouse is a person with ASPD, but he did repeatedly engage in financially sketchy behavior. But not secretly.

ASPD = anti social personality disorder.

[notrightinthehead]

Welcome Trinity!
There was a poster on this forum who separated/divorced a partner with ASPD. Search for Hhaw's posts.

They might not be helpful to you though if you are looking for support in staying in the relationship. For that I strongly recommend the Toolbox, what to do and what not to do. You should also find a therapist for yourself asap and ideally also an selfhelp group, for example CoDA.

For specific problems you will get good advice on this forum, either in the committed to working on it or the separating/divorcing topics.

See you around!