Big event fears in OCPD

[Prototypian]

Another observation I've made about ocpd has to
Do with big events.  I've told the story before about having ViP tickets to a mega rock concert and my spouse simply not being able to handle the fact that we were going through the special line and skipping all the formalities.   She just couldn't handle the fact that there was an obvious line and an obvious set of rules for lots of people and our passes went thigh the sponsor lanes and special areas etc.   


Tonight we were at an announcement for my college where the basketball team made it into a mega tournament.   We sat in the stands while espn watched the besketball team and when the selection was made everyone cheered.  Since our team was one of the top seeds in the country there was a home court advantage for the first and second round and the school announced that tickets were on sale now for the games the following weekend.   Not wanting to miss the events we both worked to log into the site and she got the login and purchased the seats for the upcoming event.   

Then the SHTF.   The coach of the team was given the microphone and he said "thank you all for joining us, we have a lot of work to do now and we will see you all Friday at 5"

Except the tickets say 11.   We must have spoken to 20 people and waited in line at a ticket office and she is still concerned.  There is no Occam razor that the coach whose job is more coaching than administrative scheduling could have made an error in his statement while the ticketing agents, websites, NCAA and espn are all correct.   She has been on forums and making calls and deeply concerned ever since.   Mind you there was only one choice for a ticket on the website.   You could buy an all event pass covering rounds 1 and 2.   There isn't a limit to whatever game you see whether it's my Alma mater or one of the other games hosted at the arena.   

Discrepancies like this really bug her to the point that others can't just enjoy.   And I sort of live in a world where I just assume that rough times are relatively ok.   Like "the flight takes off at 12:30" could mean 12:35 or 12:32 and I round off the number.   Or that a coach on a tear with a winning team in the national spotlight with reporters and tv crews and rankings and conference tournaments might accidentally announce the wrong time when handed a microphone as his mind was entirely on the short week to prepare his athletes for a big game.   

It's just so strange that there isn't such an inability to go with the flow at these kind of things.  I mean I don't want to miss the game but my trust is pretty decent with the NcAA, the college ticketing agents and ESPN.   With all the website, ticket details, posters and now advertisements all over the place my guess is that this time is probably the right one.   And the coach just maybe got it wrong.

My curiosity is whether she will somehow get this question all the way to the college coach to clarify the mis quoted time.   I guess we will see.    Personally I'm going at the time stamped on the e-ticket.

[bloomie]

Personally I'm going at the time stamped on the e-ticket.

I hope you have already gone and had a great time!

[Prototypian]

I did, rounds 1 and 2 and the team won.   On to the sweet 16 in March madness for them.

The weirdness of the behavior fears just keeps going and going and going.   

This game was a big deal at the college.  Like huge.   ESPN was there, local news, fans, campus police and thousands of people in clothing for the local college and a few for the out of town teams which are also big colleges (in terms of student body and alumni). 

Anytime we get physically close to some big event, (the bigger the event and more coordinated the flow of people and more normalized the process is for how the public interacts) the more nervous she becomes about "whether we are doing the right things or not".   She can't handle the cognitive distortion of a sign that says "staff parking only" and a campus police officer waving a line of 2000 cars into the parking along with a temporary sign that says "visitor parking 5.00".  The number of times we got out of line, went another direction, shifted where we were going and that resulted in heading the opposite of what the huge crowds of t-shirt wearing fans in cars or walking did.   

I feel like the following facts such as, tipoff is at 2 pm, thousands of people are going, the arena is over on that side of campus, the university and media all understand these points and want people to come should give you some comfort that the parking for cars and the throngs of fans all headed toward the giant building rising up out of the campus along with all the vendors and campus police should make you feel ok that we are not going the wrong way even if there is a slight possibility that on this day at this time there is some other giant fan filled event of people wearing bizarre hats and t shirts and carrying pom poms and we are just swept up in the group who are actually maybe going to some Sunday class on campus but in reality the basketball game is in the opposite direction completely.   It's just so weird the lack of trust even in a police officer waving a baton or a sign that says "ticket holders" over one door and "student entry" over another door would tip you off on which door to enter. 

It's the absolutely paralyzing fear of doing something wrong and against the rules that simply shuts her down.  She is crying sobbing afraid of a rule not being known and followed.   She has a law degree and was even in law enforcement and when I prove her about this type of thing she always defers to "I just can't handle the idea that I would be breaking a law that the police are trying and hoping helps keep order". 

Except I believe that the police and administrative goal is to use the signage, tendency of people to get in lines and natural behavior to help everyone get wherever they are going safely and easily without having to worry about a bunch of laws.   As in, "we won't pass out long legal documents telling everyone exactly where to go and how to get in line, we will use signs, people directing the crowd and natural behaviors to get everyone to a big event."

[MaxedOut]

How stressful that must be for you, Jsinjin. My sTBXw has a ton of social anxiety and I relate to the stress, high alert, mitigation, pre-event research, pivoting, etc. involved. Rules were not so much a thing except stuff that could delay or inhibit, like checking, double-checking website, calling, etc. for thinks like plane flight accommodations. The last time we flew with me I had to step away for under two minutes and came back to her yelling at the gate attendant, escalating, security being called, trying to tell her what she was saying did not happen, etc. The whole line of passengers and a lot more people were just staring in disbelief. I was super surprised I was able to get her to gather herself and that we were allowed on the plane. Towards the end more and more of these confrontations were happening and it just made any trips anywhere so stressful.