First Post

[toe2toe]

Good evening folks and almost Happy Easter to you all.

Stuck in a marriage over a decade with kiddos. I'm very confident my wife has a personality disorder. We have been in couples counseling for about several sessions. It's very interesting to say the least. I have a question for more experienced people in this forum... What do you call it when you disclose something in a counseling session to the therapist and spouse and the spouse will mirror your exact thoughts and feelings. For example, I would say something to the effect of feeling abused or manipulated. Then almost immediately, the spouse will come back with the same exact wording. Is this normal? I thought there could only be one abuser and one victim in a messed up relationship?

Anyways, thanks for this site.

[xredshoesx]

welcome to the forum @toe2toe - I am glad you found us but also sad these experiences are part of the history for you and your kids.  my backstory involves being raised by multiple generations of people who prolly had a uPD, and then I got myself into a really abusive relationship with a partner who also was most likely a lil uPD.

I was thinking  a teeny bit of mirroring?

https://outofthefog.website/top-100-trait-blog/2015/11/4/mirroring

if they are turning the tables and making it sound like you are doing whatever it is you are discussing to your spouse it's more like gaslighting


https://outofthefog.website/top-100-trait-blog/2015/11/4/gaslighting

I hope you find some peace today.  we are listening when you are ready to share more.

[LifeWithDignity]

Hello!

Maybe that's DARVO?