Time to act drawing near

[zad7242]

Hello,

It has been a few months since I've posted. I am really at the point of telling my uBPDw that we can't go on like this anymore - meaning the constant conflict, screaming, undermining my religious beliefs with my children from a previous marriage. I think she is starting to understand that too, but she is still waiting for me to "just be nice" This will serve as one last invitation for her and us as a couple to seek remedies to save our marriage and if not, time to move on. I would hope to keep the sibling group together, but we need to at least alter our relationship. My wife screams at me on a daily basis, actively teaches our children that men are inferior to women, and how sexist my Catholic faith is. This group along with my therapist, priests, and friends have been instrumental in helping me see "what everyone else looking in from the outside sees" Not sure if this confrontation will lead to a major blow-up or if she will respect my boundaries out of fear of losing our family. Thank for you for your support!

[square]

Sorry to hear that. It sounds incredibly toxic.

I'm thinking that if she was going to respect your boundaries, she would have at least made some attempts to change by now.

It seems a core feature of PD in general is that it leads to behaviors that are counterproductive to relationships (romantic, parent/child, etc.). It sounds like she is aware you are nearing a breaking point, but it has not motivated her toward change.

[Zooandbio4me]

Not that it hurts any less, but have you read, "stop walking on eggshells"?? The whole book is mind-blowing in an unfortunately not great way. But it does help to make sense of what is going on.. you're not alone friend!!

[zad7242]

Zooandbio4me,

Thanks for the encouragement! I have read Eggshells. Very helpful. I made the mistake of telling my wife I read it, even though she admits she has BPD. She is against anything that portrays BPD as being hurtful to others. I wish you the best on your journey of healing! Hope this site is helping you realize just how not alone you are as well 

[escapingman]

The daily screaming becomes part of life and the more we accept it the worse it gets, until we don't accept it and it gets even worse. Been there done that. Three years of no contact/very low contact now and have not been yelled at by another adult for 3 years, I can't tell you how much the body appreciate it and heal with the peace.