Almost 3 months of no contact and I feel nothing

[mary_poppins]

I'm almost 3 months of no contact and I feel nothing. I expected to be devastated, sad, confused, I thought i'd miss them but no. I actually feel happy and good. I don't miss those horrible people, on the contrary, I hope to never see them again.
My brother sent me a message today (he is blocked so I don't know how he managed to slip one text message in) in which he ordered me to pick up the phone and call my parents. LOL. I wasn't even bothered by his text, I just deleted it and moved on with my life.

Any of you guys felt like this after NC? I don't want to be in denial about what I feel. Yes, it is sad that I lost my family and have no one to call 'family' anymore but they were so poisonous that, I couldn't justify staying in contact just for the feeling of having people I could call family.

I will be starting therapy in a few weeks and explore my feelings about no contact so that would be interesting.

Also, no guilt at all. I'm surprised that not only I don't feel guilty but I am angry about all the thousand times I felt guilty about doing something that bothered my mother. I am so angry about having lived my life according to what mommy or daddy felt about me. It's sickening to remember how codependent and unhealthy I was while being in a relationship with all those bad people.

[walking on broken glass]

That's inspiring and reassuring for me, Mary Poppins! I hope to get to that stage of not giving a f***. Well done on living your best life!

[Rebel13]

I wasn't even bothered by his text, I just deleted it and moved on with my life.

Any of you guys felt like this after NC?

I'm so happy for you! I know this sense of freedom has taken some time for you to get to, and it's all the more precious for that.

I felt the same way after my last visit with my mom, after which I stopped talking to her. I didn't have any guilt and I didn't miss her. It's sad, and I feel I SHOULD feel bad, at least for admitting it,  , but it's true. I knew that I had done everything I was able, to make the relationship work, and it wasn't good enough for her. I'd also been away long enough, and had enough other relationships where I was treated with consideration, respect and kindness, to be kind of shocked at her behavior and no longer willing to put up with it. And, of course, she never apologized. And she never will. She's just not capable of it. She doesn't actually think she did anything wrong. If she feels bad, she thinks that justifies behaving however she wants. I disagree with that world view.

So, I hear you, and there's nothing wrong with you. Everyone is different, our paths have been different, and our reactions and responses will be too. I'm so glad you are enjoying your freedom and not letting the flying monkeys get you down.

[NarcKiddo]

This is a really good update and I am very happy for you.

[mary_poppins]

I wasn't even bothered by his text, I just deleted it and moved on with my life.

Any of you guys felt like this after NC?

I'm so happy for you! I know this sense of freedom has taken some time for you to get to, and it's all the more precious for that.

I felt the same way after my last visit with my mom, after which I stopped talking to her. I didn't have any guilt and I didn't miss her. It's sad, and I feel I SHOULD feel bad, at least for admitting it,  , but it's true. I knew that I had done everything I was able, to make the relationship work, and it wasn't good enough for her. I'd also been away long enough, and had enough other relationships where I was treated with consideration, respect and kindness, to be kind of shocked at her behavior and no longer willing to put up with it. And, of course, she never apologized. And she never will. She's just not capable of it. She doesn't actually think she did anything wrong. If she feels bad, she thinks that justifies behaving however she wants. I disagree with that world view.

So, I hear you, and there's nothing wrong with you. Everyone is different, our paths have been different, and our reactions and responses will be too. I'm so glad you are enjoying your freedom and not letting the flying monkeys get you down.

Thank you, Rebel13. I thought it was weird not to feel the loss and the pain of no contact. The most I feel is relief and the feeling that I should have done it sooner.
Sorry about your mom. You're right, she'll never apologize.

When you think about it, apologizing and making amends is so easy. It doesn't take anything from you as a person but it mends relationships and leads to healing. It's so sad that NPDs don't know how powerful being sorry is.

[mary_poppins]

That's inspiring and reassuring for me, Mary Poppins! I hope to get to that stage of not giving a f***. Well done on living your best life!

Thank you. I hope you get there soon.

[mary_poppins]

I wasn't even bothered by his text, I just deleted it and moved on with my life.

Any of you guys felt like this after NC?

I'm so happy for you! I know this sense of freedom has taken some time for you to get to, and it's all the more precious for that.

I felt the same way after my last visit with my mom, after which I stopped talking to her. I didn't have any guilt and I didn't miss her. It's sad, and I feel I SHOULD feel bad, at least for admitting it,  , but it's true. I knew that I had done everything I was able, to make the relationship work, and it wasn't good enough for her. I'd also been away long enough, and had enough other relationships where I was treated with consideration, respect and kindness, to be kind of shocked at her behavior and no longer willing to put up with it. And, of course, she never apologized. And she never will. She's just not capable of it. She doesn't actually think she did anything wrong. If she feels bad, she thinks that justifies behaving however she wants. I disagree with that world view.

So, I hear you, and there's nothing wrong with you. Everyone is different, our paths have been different, and our reactions and responses will be too. I'm so glad you are enjoying your freedom and not letting the flying monkeys get you down.

No, don't need to feel bad for no contact and you not feeling the loss. You have cut all the poison and you're now free. Good things.