At what point are they not narcissists, but Sociopath or other?

[Blueberry Pancakes]

This is a question that can likely only be answered by a professional who can give an official diagnosis, but these people will never get diagnosed nor would I ever know anything from them anyway.

However, are there signs that the person you are dealing with is not just a run-of-the-mill narcissist and is perhaps a sociopath or psychopath?

I read that some disorders exist on a scale. Having extreme lack of empathy, a willingness to exploit, lack of boundary recognition, and a lack of remorse are all signs of a disordered individual. That description though could apply to so many conditions. Also, what about the smirk or smile when they see you get angry, and they seem to be getting satisfaction that they upset you? Is that more than just them feeling in control over you, and is it enjoyment in causing you pain?
   
I am no contact with all those in my FOO. Sometimes, I just look back and think I was perhaps dealing with more than just a bunch of narcissists.   

Thanks.

Thank you.     

[NarcKiddo]

None of my family is diagnosed. It is pretty certain that my mother and father are both different brands of narcissist. My mother's mother was probably a psychopath.

My feeling about the main difference between my mother and her mother is that the narcissist cares what other people think of them and the psychopath does not. The narcissist wants you to believe they are wonderful - and be sure to tell them so. Deep down they tend to hate themselves, so they need supply to bolster their ego. The psychopath does not care what other people think except insofar as they need the other person to think x in order to further the aims of the psychopath.

I actually am not sure if the psychopath always enjoys causing pain just for the sake of causing it. I am sure some do - but I don't think other people were of enough interest to my grandmother for her to be interested in their pain at all unless, for some reason, she needed them to feel pain. Or they had annoyed her and she was taking revenge. My mother the narcissist, however, is very happy to upset others if she is needing to feel superior and chooses to display her superiority by exercising her power to hurt.

This is all based on my own subjective experience. Maybe you were dealing with more than just a bunch of narcissists - though goodness knows they are bad enough! I'm glad you are not having to deal with them any more.

[Liketheducks]

We have a couple of diagnosis in my FOO.   As my siblings and my children have become young adults, two have been legitimately diagnosed with BPD by mental health professionals.   I have a C-PTSD diagnosis.   My father was diagnosed bipolar back in the 80's, but....I think everyone was.   He never returned for any further treatment.   My counselor told me he was very likely NPD with sociopathic tendencies based on the textbook symptoms I present.   She also said it was highly likely that my mother had BPD, based on my symptoms.  My parents would never acknowledge any of that.   I know BPD can run in families.    My counselor has told me that BPD and NPD couple pairings are fairly common.   

Wish there was a professional here that could weigh in on it.   

[Blueberry Pancakes]

Thank you, Narc and Ducks. It helps sometimes just to toss around some thoughts, share behaviors, and see insights of others.

Not caring what others think of them (unless needed to meet some end goal) makes sense for a psychopath. I think I have noticed that with some in my family. The pairing of BPD and NPD also makes sense.
   
I am not around these people anymore, but some of it still lingers in mind. It gets less over time, but sometimes it is downright chilling when I look back and realize the darkness I was looking at with some individuals. 
 
Thanks.   

[Call Me Cordelia]

I think my father fits this description. The sadistic smirk, the manipulation calculated to cause maximum damage to their victim, the ability to hold a grudge for years, being very willing to put us in danger by driving recklessly... Do the traits of Antisocial Personality Disorder ring any bells for you?

[SeaBreeze]

While I describe my first husband on here as ex-uNPDh #1, I honestly believe him to be a psychopath. Not at a serial killer Ted Bundy level, but his behaviors check off most of the list of psychopathic traits. Whereas my late uNPD mother and my second uNPD husband seemed to display some sort of genuine guilt, empathy, emotion, and love toward others, at least as far as they were capable of. But ex-H#1...It chills me to realize I fell for the act, loved him, lived with him, started a family with him. 

[Blueberry Pancakes]

Cordelia and Seabreeze, yes, those things make sense to me too.

ASPD explains a lot. Also, with psychopathy or sociopathy, I do mostly think of those infamous stories of people like Ted Bundy. I thought those in my FOO were not THAT bad. Then I think maybe no one needs to do those things to still have the same disorder.
   
I noticed behaviors in my sister's husband that were probably the most extreme displays. The family let it all pass. As the whole FOG lifted, I just knew there was something else to it.