Narcissists are Hoarders!

[JR]

am i just imagining it or are these Narcs hoarding junk and wont admit it, ive noticed piles of junk that just gets bigger and when i ask why do you need all this worthless junk most of it picked from another persons garbage pile. they seem to think this garbage is worth a fortune if they ever want to sell it but I never see any buyers to come get it and also you cannot have an adult conversation about maybe getting rid of some. I really hate someone else's clutter that serves no purpose.

[Poison Ivy]

I don't think that all narcissists are hoarders or that all hoarders are narcissists. It's definitely extra frustrating when one person is both.

[Prototypian]

Hoarding is the worst for a spouse who wishes things were "normal".   So sorry you're dealing with it.

[Abigail.2025]

Coming from a background where both of my parents exhibited personality disorders and engaged in hoarding, I've become sensitive to similar patterns. My spouse also tends to hoard when left unchecked. I've come to believe that hoarding serves as a form of psychological "supply" for individuals with personality disorders. When they can't control or gain attention from people, they often turn to material objects as a substitute—something they can dominate, accumulate, and possess. As Dr. Ramani notes, this pattern can extend beyond physical clutter to include money and investments, which also provide a sense of power, supply, and control.

[Cascade]

I think some of them hoard. I work with a co-worker who is a hoarder though I don't know if she's a narcissist or not. My PD husband hangs on to too many things but not enough to be considered a hoarder.

[JR]

Coming from a background where both of my parents exhibited personality disorders and engaged in hoarding, I've become sensitive to similar patterns. My spouse also tends to hoard when left unchecked. I've come to believe that hoarding serves as a form of psychological "supply" for individuals with personality disorders. When they can't control or gain attention from people, they often turn to material objects as a substitute—something they can dominate, accumulate, and possess. As Dr. Ramani notes, this pattern can extend beyond physical clutter to include money and investments, which also provide a sense of power, supply, and control.

I think some of them hoard. I work with a co-worker who is a hoarder though I don't know if she's a narcissist or not. My PD husband hangs on to too many things but not enough to be considered a hoarder.

I agree 100% that these NPD disordered people do use "objects" as a source of supply basically because they treat "Human Beings" as if they were "objects" and then get supply from them, therefore hoarding and having useless objects as a source of supply, and will not give up on them and get rid of this junk makes sense, simply because they use it as a supply source to regulate themselves with. A good analogy is a TV Remote control its an object/human being and when the Narcissist pushs the buttons and the TV responds to the Narcs commands, and when the TV remote malfunctions and DOES NOT obey the NARCS command he throws it at the wall in a fit of Narc Rage this is how they deal with Humans whom they view as just objects without feelings and don't matter anyway if they get broken.

[United We Win]

A good analogy is a TV Remote control its an object/human being and when the Narcissist pushs the buttons and the TV responds to the Narcs commands, and when the TV remote malfunctions and DOES NOT obey the NARCS command he throws it at the wall in a fit of Narc Rage this is how they deal with Humans whom they view as just objects without feelings and don't matter anyway if they get broken.

I myself am my mother's remote control. I can recall my mother sitting in her recliner, angrily pushing the buttons and complaining 'it's not working!' meaning the remote. But the conversation in the room is Always and I mean Always about this person or that person not doing what she wants them to do.

I was my husband's remote control for decades. As soon as I 'stopped working' for him, meaning I recognized his tactics and stopped playing along, he discarded me.

[United We Win]

The narcs in my life (and there are many of them) say:
"I don't have enough money." "I need money now, desperately." "I may lose my house."
Yet they do not work.
They do however own piles of "stuff," --everything from antique Gustav Becker clocks and hot rods and collectible matchbook cars to gold flatware.

I sell on Ebay. Yes it is work. Yes it is frustrating sometimes. But you know what? I would rather pay my bills than complain about not having money. And at the same time I get to declutter and pass items on to a new life. I am grateful that I have some things that I can sell.

The main narcs in my life repeatedly make snide comments about 'how nice it must be' for me to sell a bracelet for $100, for example.

Well guess what? Who paid for that bracelet 20 years ago? ME! Who went to the trouble to photograph it, research prices, list it, package it and send it? ME!

It take humility to sell one's possessions on ebay.

Narcissists have no humility.

I have suggested that my mother, etc, sell this item or that one, have even offered to help them photograph and list it. OH HELL NO!! That is the most insulting thing I could ever suggest.
 

[JR]

A good analogy is a TV Remote control its an object/human being and when the Narcissist pushs the buttons and the TV responds to the Narcs commands, and when the TV remote malfunctions and DOES NOT obey the NARCS command he throws it at the wall in a fit of Narc Rage this is how they deal with Humans whom they view as just objects without feelings and don't matter anyway if they get broken.

I myself am my mother's remote control. I can recall my mother sitting in her recliner, angrily pushing the buttons and complaining 'it's not working!' meaning the remote. But the conversation in the room is Always and I mean Always about this person or that person not doing what she wants them to do.

I was my husband's remote control for decades. As soon as I 'stopped working' for him, meaning I recognized his tactics and stopped playing along, he discarded me.

best thing that probably happened was that he finally discarded you, remember no good deed ever goes unpunished when dealing with narcs

[JR]

The narcs in my life (and there are many of them) say:
"I don't have enough money." "I need money now, desperately." "I may lose my house."
Yet they do not work.
They do however own piles of "stuff," --everything from antique Gustav Becker clocks and hot rods and collectible matchbook cars to gold flatware.

I sell on Ebay. Yes it is work. Yes it is frustrating sometimes. But you know what? I would rather pay my bills than complain about not having money. And at the same time I get to declutter and pass items on to a new life. I am grateful that I have some things that I can sell.

The main narcs in my life repeatedly make snide comments about 'how nice it must be' for me to sell a bracelet for $100, for example.

Well guess what? Who paid for that bracelet 20 years ago? ME! Who went to the trouble to photograph it, research prices, list it, package it and send it? ME!

It take humility to sell one's possessions on ebay.

Narcissists have no humility.

I have suggested that my mother, etc, sell this item or that one, have even offered to help them photograph and list it. OH HELL NO!! That is the most insulting thing I could ever suggest.
 

they treat every meaningless object as if it were a priceless artifact, even if someone offered to buy it for a million dollars they would say it was worth 2 million$$, in many ways these people are seriously disturbed and most people that see their antics just chalk it up and say thats just how they are

[Call Me Cordelia]

My most helpful flash of insight about pwPDs and hoarding which rang so true for my experience: They cannot have healthy attachment to people, so they get attached to stuff instead.

[JR]

My most helpful flash of insight about pwPDs and hoarding which rang so true for my experience: They cannot have healthy attachment to people, so they get attached to stuff instead.

this makes alot of sense to me, the common denominator is people are objects and narcs collect objects/people(sources of supply)one in the same, people are not BEINGS they are just props used in their peter pan fake reality

[PamP80]

Yes, I agree that some are. I know it's not all of them but my parent and also NPD ex both did this. It's very weird to watch people do it. Feels like some type of greed/fixation issue. My parent will save literal garbage like empty jars and boxes saying that it will become an art project "someday." My ex would collect stuff he never use and then want to take me on little "tours" of it like a tour guide. Piles of clothes he never wore etc. I don't understand the pattern but it's definitely there

[JR]

Yes, I agree that some are. I know it's not all of them but my parent and also NPD ex both did this. It's very weird to watch people do it. Feels like some type of greed/fixation issue. My parent will save literal garbage like empty jars and boxes saying that it will become an art project "someday." My ex would collect stuff he never use and then want to take me on little "tours" of it like a tour guide. Piles of clothes he never wore etc. I don't understand the pattern but it's definitely there

they must get narc supply from hoarding priceless objects" and that they hold power over you he who dies with the most toys wins,attitude. these narcs operate with the same playbook wherever they are, you mentioned boxes,empty jars, to add a few how about old bills and statements piling up from decades ago that they refuse to toss, definetly some sort of connect to these personalities holding on to this junk.

[Cascade]

My husband never throws out old bills and statements. I started shredding the older ones and have been doing so for over 20 years and he never noticed until about a year ago.