Excuses Excuses!

[Juju]

My partner and I went out for a nice dinner with friends the other night before we left for the evening my partner had to let his daughter know (who he has a dependent relationship with) what he was doing then while we were in bed after we got back home he texted her to let her know we were home had a nice time and chat for awhile.  Gee what a turn off I was feeling romantic but as soon as he did that it totally turned me off. I wanted him to come with me to my sons for dinner this weekend but he jammed out again ..... so upsetting, it makes me want to never go with him to his daughters as he never comes over to my sons with me, so silly but I feel this way, so fed up and hurt by his never ending excuses to never come with me!

[Rebel13]

Hi Juju, that sounds so painful -- the unfairness of your husband not being willing to accompany you to outings with your children, and the sense of abandonment after your nice evening when he wanted to text his daughter rather than be close with you. I know it feels "silly" to think about keeping score when spending time with each of your family members, but I also completely understand why it seems appealing on some level.

I don't know if this is something the two of you could have a constructive conversation about?

[Juju]

Thank you Rebel13 ... yes it was hurtful but more frustrating, I find his stubborness more hurtful, he seems so unyielding and just won't budge very annoying and I wonder why he is sooooo set in his ways!  He will not change his mind once he thinks he has decided how he is going to deal with things.