Autoimmune issues emerging 2 years after NC

[Therivercontinueson]

Hi all,
 
I wanted to see if anyone else has dealt with this - I went NC two years ago and my life improved in a lot of ways, my panic attacks stopped, I became financially independent, I started making friends again and I could find other parts of my identity I had repressed.

In March this year I felt I had an emotional breakthrough, for once I felt my life was "okay", I relaxed. A month later, my body seemed to erupt - hives, allergies, swelling, fatigue, neuropathy, trouble breathing, etc. I've seen endless specialists and they've settled on an autoimmune response that we are now treating and is becoming somewhat stabilised, although I am not back to what I was before it started (and don't know if I ever will be - but we are hoping with enough time I will).

I have a history of mystery illnesses throughout my life, no doubt due to emotional abuse, repression, stress and trauma. My ACES score (which is linked to chronic illness) is very high. I've noticed whenever I was in a better life situation, I.e. when I was away from my family, studying abroad/moving abroad/etc., my physical, "chronic" issues (IBS/migraine/etc.) tended to spontaneously resolve. I never had autoimmune issues as well.

I though since I went NC and my life got better, and most of my physical issues resolved, I was heading towards mpre stable emotional and physical health. So I was shocked when once I finally relaxed, my immune system went haywire, and I became the sickest I've ever been.

I read a book called When the Body Says No by Gabor Mate, which links trauma to autoimmune conditions, but it seemed that most of the people in the book either got better once leaving a bad situation,, or never left, and therefore never got better.

I always thought once I finally truly escaped, my body would be at peace. But only a short while after stabilisation, everything exploded. I do not think it is merely coincidence, and I am trying to make sense of this (isn't my body supposed to want to heal?).

Does anyone here have experience with autoimmune issues?

[Adria]

I had acquired five auto immune diseases after going NC.  The doctor told me that narc abuse throws your hormones out of wack.  I am on bio-identical progesterone cream and it has done miracles for me.

[Liketheducks]

I don't have autoimmune issues, but I AM allergic to everything.   Also, linked to PTSD.   Also  psoas/hip issues are something I struggle with.   Yet another part of the body that is linked to trauma.   

As much as I am healing my C-PTSD, I do know that my body has an accounting and response of what I went through that I can't control.  Perhaps of events that I'm not even really aware of.    I've done all the therapies.  It is as if my body keeps responding to threats that aren't necessarily still there.   I have to work hard at self care....exercise, mindfulness, therapy, medication and still struggle with this.

I also noticed once...after some big T trauma and some stabilization....I did a yoga retreat.   When I FINALLY was able to relax a bit and let my guard down, I rebounded HARD.   Became MORE anxious, more irritable, MORE angry once I had the space to feel something other than the usual flight or fight.   I think we're hard wired to protect ourselves even unconsciously. 

Hang in there.     

[Rebel13]

I don't know if we can undo the years of living under that kind of stress, no matter how far away we get from the abuse/abuser, and how much self-care we do. (Cancer survivor with diabetes and lifelong IBS, here.) I hope you all are taking the best care of yourselves that you can, with what you are struggling with now.

[walking on broken glass]

The body keeps the score unfortunately You might find the homonymous book by van der Kolk useful. It's about how trauma affects body and mind.