More on finances

[walking on broken glass]

I had made another post about wanting to disentangle myself financially from my mother and my sister. I spoke with a lawyer as the situation with our joint accounts was rather complicated. My dad had set up two accounts, one for me and one for my sister, but unfortunately all of us (me, mum, sister) are joint owners of those accounts. My dad had explained the division orally, and the two accounts hold almost an identical sum of money, but his will didn't formally state the primary holder. This means that all of us have equal rights to everything. The lawyer warned me that if I remove the money from the one account which is mine (informally), they have the legal right to sue me. He said it's a complicated process and not very likely but the risk is there. Now if my family were reasonable people, we could talk and agree to split everything up, but since they have already accused me and my husband of wanting to steal their money, there is no chance of any such conversation taking place. I postponed any action for after the holidays but today I got a notification from the bank that my mum moved the money from the one account to my sister's personal account with a note 'gift to my daughter'. My mum knows nothing about ebanking so it was of course my sister that did all this and I wonder why she didn't move the money herself since she has the same access and rights to the account as my mum. I'm also thinking does this signify that they know that the other account is mine and I can now proceed to move the money, as they did? The 'gift to my daughter' part puzzles me because it seems that my mum treats this money as hers.
Should I just go ahead and move the money, even if I get accused? The legality of it all becomes even more muddled now that my mum has already moved money herself.

[walking on broken glass]

Update: I spoke to my lawyer and he advised me to transfer the money to my personal account. He said there is signficant risk of your mum or sister emptying the account and then it will be a long legal process to contest this and get it back but if you act first, it is less likely they will go through the legal trouble to challenge the transfer for money that cannot easily be proved it is not yours.

So, I moved the money and hope they won't bother me anymore. It's ridiculous that I feel guilty about it. It is money my father intended for me and I am not doing anything wrong. I am also about to become unemployed and embark upon a new career, and even though I have savings and my husband's support, it helps me to know that this money is there for me, if I need it. I can't stop thinking how appalled my dad would be about the way my mum and sister have been treating me.

[looloo]

So glad you resolved it in such a rational and practical way.  And getting legal advice was the best way to go about it.  If anyone questions you, you can just say "on the advice of my attorney..." and hopefully shut down any further bickering.
Good for you!

[Rebel13]

I'm really glad you moved the money! I was thinking about your situation and didn't really know what to suggest, it is so complicated. But I think your lawyer is right, they probably won't go to the trouble to take any action. They'll just complain and snipe, but they do that anyway!

Enjoy the relief of having taken action on your own behalf and having a safety net for yourself. And good luck in this next stage of your life!

[walking on broken glass]

Thank you, looloo and Rebel!
I really hope they will leave me in peace.

[footprint33]

Just chiming in to say that I feel relieved hearing you got the money out! It will be difficult for them to do anything legally about you moving the money since your mother also moved money.

footprint

[NarcKiddo]

I'm glad you have control of your money now.

[Call Me Cordelia]

That sounds like the most rational thing to do to me as well. I don't understand this arrangement at all, but I pray that this is a clean end to the dilemma. Best wishes for your next chapter in your life!

[walking on broken glass]

Thank you so much, Footprint, Narckiddo and Cordelia

[Liketheducks]

Good JOB!   Well done for taking this step.   When you first posted about this, I was worried for you.   

Be prepared for them to ratchet up the chaos in complaint about it....BUT, you have taken another step to remove their control over you.   I'm so proud of you!