New here - mom of narcissistic kid

[DesperateMom]

Hi all - I'm a mom of a 16yo with narcissistic tendencies. He of course can't be diagnosed with NPD at this age, but every hallmark is there. We've been through all kinds of therapies/treatments for years and this has been the hardest year of our lives. No one knows how to handle my kid. On top of that, my husband doesn't believe I have PTSD from dealing with my kid's verbal abuse, violent outbursts, gaslighting, occasional love-bombing, substance use, physical threats, and so much more. My body is also breaking down from the constant fight-or-flight mode. I have therapists and I know I need boundaries but it's impossible when anything can trigger the need to call a mobile crisis team. Looking for support, validation, ideas, and maybe hope, even though I really don't believe in hope. Thanks for "listening".

[xredshoesx]

welcome to the group @DesperateMom -  you are not the only parent who is simultaneously trying to support and heal from a relationship with their child.  the teen years are tough as a rule and throwing a potential uPD in the mix makes even the minor day to day actions of parenting a potential minefield.

we have a fairly active group of parents posting here Parents' Discussion who can certainly validate your experiences as well as give you tips/ support on how to best use boundaries with your uPD teen child.  I know it's hard because you are mourning the loss of the relationship you thought you would have for your child as well as the future you envisioned for them...  please just remember the 3 C's- you didn't cause this, you can't control this and you can't cure it....

when you are ready to share more, we're listening

[DesperateMom]

Thank you for this welcome. I'll pop over into the parent discussion. I know the 3Cs, but I'm wrestling with "control" vs "ensuring safety" and "cure" vs "engage supportive treatment".