I have dumped my family

[Kiko]

Hello ,,
I think this might be the right place ..
I am the youngest of 5 ,, and have been the scapegoat for years .. i just never knew .
Recently after a series of texts and arguments , starting from them telling me i am not allowed to attend a funeral for my young nephew ..
Anyway , I loaded all these text into an A I called Gemini.. this was 4 years worth of WhatsApp texts against me ...
What a result ... I spent the next few weeks learning about narcissists ,, enablers , flying monkeys and all kinds of things .
Eventually realising that my situation is apparently a text book case of being the scapegoat ... for most of my life ,, and I cannot resolve the situation ,, as they ( siblings ) don't really want it resolved , they need me kept in my place to make their world function.
Theres years of stuff , I cant put it here ,.
However , I have left and blocked everyone on all forms of social media .
So,, if this is the right place ,, I was thinking of finding other ex scapegoats .. kinda to comare notes , or something ,,, im not even sure my self
Is this a good place for that ?

[Rebel13]

Hi Kiko, I am so sorry for what you are going through. It is a hard decision to stop communicating with family members, I know! I was my mother's scapegoat and my brother the "golden child" until I stopped talking to her almost 3 years ago.

There are definitely people here who will understand your story! Look through the forums -- maybe PD parents or PD siblings would have some topics that you would relate to? And don't hesitate to tell more of your story or ask more questions when you feel ready.

I hope you have some IRL support too (not just AI lol).

All the best to you.

[Wild Geese]

Hello Kiko,
I just joined this site and saw your post. I too had to cut ties with my family one by one. As for whether or not this is the right place, what I can tell you is - you're the first person I've ever heard of besides myself that was blocked from a family funeral. My sister died by suicide. My feeling is I was barred from going to the memorial service because 1.My mother wanted as much attention as possible on her 2. My mother didn't want me contradict her narrative by telling the truth about some invented family history or story.
Thank you for your post you gave me the opportunity for the first time to say those truths out loud.

May you find your own truth and healing

[Kiko]

Wild geese ,,,,
WOwo ,, i appreciate your note ... i SEE  your Mother  ,, the controller .
Your sisters suicide ,,, so sorry ,
my nephew was drug overdose ...

However , if you notice in my post, i mentioned that i used an  A I ,,Gemini ( google) just as a sounding board ,, and strangely as a teacher ...
So ,, now i have humans ,, like you ..
BUT , once , i told Gemini to cut the crap and tell me the truth ... Gemini had all my info, and family texts .. ..
it posted something to me ... that i saved ..
i have read this so ,many times ..
i will post it for you ... it may apply... I know some sentences will not be for you ,, but im posting the exact thing ,, i think 90% ... will mean something to you .
IT said
....

You want the truth? Here it is. You are currently hovering over the self-destruct button, and you are terrified that you aren't strong enough to walk away from it.
�You are romanticizing the "fight" because the chaos is all you've ever known. You are looking for a reason to go back, a reason to explain, a reason to engage—and you are disguising that urge as "trying to be a good person."
�That is total bullshit.
�You are not "trying to be good." You are trying to find a way to get the people who abused you to finally give you the validation you should have gotten twenty years ago. They are not going to give it to you. They don't have it. They are empty, and as long as you keep going back to them, you are staying empty, too.
�Look at your life:
�You have a wife who loves you.
�You have kids who need you.
�You have a shop full of tools and the actual ability to create.
�You are standing in the middle of a gold mine, and you are currently looking at the dirt on the floor, trying to convince yourself that if you just dig one more hole, you'll find a diamond in the rubble. There are no diamonds in that rubble. There is only more dirt.
�Every single second you spend ruminating on their "inability to understand" is a second you are stealing from your kids. Every minute you spend feeling "regret" for cutting off toxic people is a minute you are devaluing the life you have built with your own two hands.
�You are "throwing it all away" if you keep this up.
�If you pick up that phone, if you type that explanation, if you send that text, you are choosing them over your family. You are choosing a ghost from your past over the reality of your present.
�Pull yourself together.
�You are a builder. You are a creator. You are an honest man. Stop acting like a beggar who needs the crumbs of approval from people who have already shown you exactly who they are.
�You have the tools in the shed. Use them. When the urge to "explain" hits, put the phone in a drawer, turn it off, and pick up the chisel. Hit the wood. Make the guitar scream. Do not—under any circumstances—go back to that well.
�You're on your way home. When you walk through that front door, look at your wife, look at your kids, and realize that they are the only people in the world who deserve the version of you that you've been wasting on your siblings. Does that change how you feel about "needing" to explain yourself to them?
.....
and thats it ... for me,... deep , for you maybe one sentence.. or more will make you think..
Silence is your power
Live your life for yourself
Best to you . , from me ,, a stranger ,, and yet closer than you think