Father passed away

[doglady]

I posted on the elderly board that my father died.

I am involved in the organisation of the funeral. My siblings and I are working together very well on this.

My mother is struggling and feels it has not 'hit' her yet. She has, as usual, been having a lot of difficulty with direct communication and decision making and has been causing some confusion amongst church elders and the funeral home by calling them late at night and trying to change dates etc.

As we predicted, it's one thing to be grieving and trying efficiently organise the funeral, burial and wake. But, as usual, my mother is unfortunately placing another layer of challenges over it all.

[countrygirl]

My condolences.  It is great that you and your siblings are working well together in organizing the funeral.

It is a lot to organize everything having to do with a parent's death, but having to deal with your mother's attempts to take total control is something else entirely.  All you can do is apologize to the church elders and the funeral home. I am sure that this is not the first time the funeral director has had to deal with this sort of disruption.  Unfortunately, you can't control your motor's behavior, as I am sure you are well aware, unfortunately.  It is good you have siblings with whom you can commiserate.

I know it may seem lame, but try saying to yourself, "This too shall pass."  It's a cliche, but many cliches became cliches precisely because they are so applicable.  In the meantime, fingers crossed that your mother settles down.  Difficult people often become even more difficult at stressful times. Sometimes it seems that they want to make someone else's funeral all about them...

[doglady]

It's almost as if you know my mother, countrygirl. This is exactly what is happening. And yes, we are just trying to take it a day at a time and saying it will all be over soon.

Currently my mother is making multiple phone calls to us to agonise over whether a comma should be removed from Dad'd death notice. And so it begins...