Feeling I am the only problem

[Deborah]

What if I have always been the bad guy in the story? What if my family is right and they are wonderful and I am really the bad guy?

[1footouttadefog]

That is not likely to be true.  It's rarely just one side that gets all blame in any difficult relationship.

But let's just suppose it's all you for the sake of argument.  If it's all you and it's hard, perhaps there is a total mismatch that is causing harm emotional or otherwise to both parties.  If you are the only one with blame then you have the entire game to play, all of the moves to make.

There is no compromise to be made of it's all you.  There is no trying harder, of its all you, because that would mean things get worse. There is no being heard or having your side or views listened to because the fault has already been assigned.  No evidence or impact statements matter because the judge jury and sentencing processes have already been deemed to have taken place. 

Perhaps some time away from those who blame you will bring peace and time to find your real chosen tribe. 

So for clarity I am not saying you are to blame, but that being among those who seek to blame only one side, is impossible to improve because all paths forward are blocked. 

[blunk]

Just the fact that you are contemplating the possibility shows a level of self-awareness that is not present in a PD or an abuser.

[Rebel13]

I have thought and worried about this too. But then I think, well, if that were the case, then the best thing for them would be to stay away from them, which I am doing. The people around me now don't seem to think I am bad for them. I'm not intruding on anyone's life or forcing anyone to relate to me. The cops aren't after me for anything. So under those circumstances it seems almost like a moot point or a matter of opinion.