I want to go no contact with my mother

[ChelseyTrombley]

Hi all, I want to go no contact with my mother. I can remember issues in my childhood, but it got significantly worse in my adulthood years. in the last 10 years, it has been a consistent need to set more and more boundaries. Currently my mother has been ignoring me for two weeks using the silent treatment. We have talked on the phone a handful of times this year and have seen each other for holidays only. The current issue that is bringing this question into my head is my mother wants to have Christmas at her house this year because she does not want to haul presents to and from my house. I offered a solution of loading and unloading the presents at my house. I also have put their Christmas presents into three small boxes. I don't want to do Christmas at her house because we travel to other family that day and going to her house has proven to be a tense experience. I also don't want her to think that she gets her way by throwing a fit. My father enables her behavior and is on her side about this situation because he feels that I am not flexible and because I accommodate for my fiancé's family that I should accommodate for them.

[xredshoesx]

welcome to the forum-

it sounds like the holidays only add to the tension you already experience in the relationship with your mother.  I like how you offered some solutions to make it work better for you and I agree, if you are in a relationship, especially if kids are involved, then the other part of the family kind of gets first in line for the 'big' holidays.  my DH's family does Xmas eve and then another event with the other parts of the family Xmas day and that seems to take the stress off of my SIL.

you will find a community here of other adult children on a similar journey with their parents- I know you can get validation and support from them when you are ready to share more. Dealing with PD Parents

whatever you decide to do with your relationship- we will support you through it.