Daughter ghosted with grandchildren.

[Emmie]

Four years ago, when I could no longer financially support her, my very adult BOD daughter ghosted me and included her now 12 and 15, with her.  My daughter had recently gotten a good job. I told her that I would slowly win down support and that I would also pay her mortgage for an additional 3 months. She graciously thanked me for all I had done for her and the children. Then within a week she was gone.

Now she is some four jobs later and her lease had run out. For over a year she  manipulated my son for money. He has drawn a line.

My husband, not her father, was willing to offer several months of support but he wanted to meet with her to discuss. She said no.

In addition, my other daughter, her sister, shockingly died 6 months before the ghosting. The pain of her loss also abides in me.

The children of my living daughter were in an e-bike accident last week, which I found out by "accident." I would so like to help them but I don't know where they are, even though we live in the same town.

I'm diligently working on acceptance while my heart hurts and sadness prevails.

My therapist says my daughter is cruel. And hateful. In a way that doesn't matter.

If you have any suggestions for bringing peace back to my heart, I would be most grateful.

[bloomie]

Welcome, Emmie. I am thankful you found us and shared the circumstances you are facing with your daughter. I am just so sorry for the losses you are facing. I also wanted to apologize for this sitting for a bit without a proper welcome.

I'm diligently working on acceptance while my heart hurts and sadness prevails.

I am inspired by the determination and wisdom you share here. This all sounds so inexplicable and don't our mother's hearts want to understand and find a way back. Emotional cut offs by family members that impact vulnerable children who could use our support and presence are especially difficult.

I hope you will find comfort in the conversations and support taking place on the forum boards and look forward to seeing you share in the coming days. Again, a warm welcome to you!