hi I'm Confused Mama and welcome too Is it Narcissism, Or am I overreacting?

[OneConfusedMama444]

Hey there everyone,

can't tell you my name so i will be known here at confusedmama, because the truth is the situation i am in, i don't really know if i am the problem or if i am just making things seem like they are not, this is where i need a little help because i just don't know what to think anymore, I am pretty sure i am right about this being wrong, but again i never know with the way the world is today, i am a mama of three wonderful children, 15, 13, and 10 all amazing little humans and that is all i will say about that. i also have a boyfriend and his mother who i live with at the moment, now a little back story, so in this day and age we do dating, online i guess, at least most of us anyways i guess but that is how i met my boyfriend through online dating, and well crazy part is, about a year before he had saw me while he was in town doing work. so ya weird enough we met we fell in love yadda yadda, now im in my late 30's okay i am over, the games i am over the messing around i just want to settle fall in love and all of us as a little family be happy, well that is not the case here, i just feel like i am going absolutely insane, and i know in my heart this isn't right, specially with the way this man speaks to me. Now i don't know how much i can say but i will see i am getting tired of telling him about my boundries and him not respecting it, like me telling him something i don't like he keeps doing it and then when i get mad i am the jerk. or if i dont want to do something that he wants me to do and i keep saying know i am the jerk as well, i love my sleep when i can get it okay, i have the worst time falling asleep in general and all i ask if for that when i can finally get it, this man gets up at 5ish in the morning for work and decides he wants to wake me up for "cuddles" but whatever i am over it at this point i just start saying no i want to sleep and then again i am the jerk i just don't get it, when he doesn't like when i do something i know exactly when to stop but him its like no was never installed in his vocabulary, my girls are finally happy in a house we had moved in about 3 months into dating that is another whole long story, if i can even get to it, but at this point there are just certain things he says, which im sure i will get banned if i did say something of the things he says. i just don't know what to believe anymore the icing on the cake was being confused at what i wanted with this relationship because it was always something with him so i went to my best friends for the night fighting with him of course because i just can't seem to make up my mind weather or not this guy really loves me or he is just using me to fill a void he has in his heart or i don't know but while i am there crying my eyes out and he is at home telling me he really does want to work on things blah blah blah come back talk to me i do the next day, kay fast foward to my first day at a new job i get a random request message from some name that looks familiar so i open it and sure as h3ll this man has screen shots of screen shots of telling this woman things he would tell me, now that's where everyone says oh girl leave all this well thats the thing i gave everything i mean everything up for this man and that is again all on me and i take full responsibilty for that but now, now i don't even know what to think or do and don't even get me started about his mom. oh man that's a whole nother story from another day. so yeah i am sorry for the long thing here i just i need to get this out i need to get some help and i need to just figure out where to go from here.

sincecerly
confusedmama!

[xredshoesx]

@OneConfusedMama444

welcome to the group-  I apologize for the delay.  it's been a week for us volunteers here and we appreciate your grace.


it sounds like you are very frustrated in the relationship to the point where you are maybe ready to end it bc of those screenshots but the security of you and your kids is  tied into the relationship at the same time and that's a really hard  place to be.

in my situationship with my ex- I thought I was financially dependent on a partner who  had both a drinking problem and who became physically / verbally abusive once he had too much and that was pretty much any time he drank.  me being me, I almost caught my own case because of it and came close to losing my career because I thought 'love' meant staying together no matter what.  it was a traumatic 7 years and thankfully it finally ended bc of like you, I saw something he did on the internets he never thought I'd see ..... but it was even then a struggle before we split for theeeee last time.

my heart is with you and it sounds like the separating/ divorcing page here may be the best place for you to share at this time.  we also support members who can't leave on the committed to working on it section- both have been helpful to me in my recovery.

Comitted to Working On It


Separating and Divorcing

when you are ready to share more- we're listening- take care of your tired heart today. it's a lot to process once you start seeing all the pieces together.