FOO reflections

[skybox]

One feature of FOO that I can't quite place - was ignoring the fact that I work, and assuming I would available- eg turning to up stay and assuming I would be taking them out/ available. Even when informed that it wasn't possible. Saying «  I work » was either ignored or dismissed. Two members of FOO very much this way.
It's still odd today, low contact.
difficult to square the apparent interest in other family members, and a sort of «  blank » around me as if I only exist as a useful object in their world.

Not useful anymore, but it's sad. 

[Poison Ivy]

I felt as though my mom minimized my job when she was capable of thinking about stuff like that. (She died in July at age almost 98 and had dementia for a few years before her death.) My job isn't glamourous, but I've worked for the same employer for almost four decades and I've had to keep working in part because my former husband financially abandoned me and our children, so I'm proud of my role as a worker and breadwinner.

[skybox]

It's honorable and necessary - right to be proud Poison ivy.

I think there's a lot of misogyny  from some older women-  hard to understand, but definitely the case in my foo, similar attitudes. Whilst being sugar sweet to the men, who don't notice or excuse them.

A sort of «  grey rock » approach  has helped, but still sad...wasted so much love and care on those who don't care back. Got to just accept it.

In limbo at the moment, resetting for the future, trying to give myself some grace, figuring out how to «  live life » well. Still being kind to others, but as it says on the toolbox section, 51 percent rule.

[1footouttadefog]

It's honorable and necessary - right to be proud Poison ivy.

I think there's a lot of misogyny  from some older women-  hard to understand, but definitely the case in my foo, similar attitudes. Whilst being sugar sweet to the men, who don't notice or excuse them.

I have seen this alot among unhealthy women.  It's like they see their self worth as measured by how much other will take care of them.  I can sort of see this in the traditional marriage roles.  However the transfer that role to a child later of divorce or widowed.  This is where the idea of a narc seeing kids and relatives as an object for their utility and an extension of themselves. 

Then there is often an entitlement to what the kids accomplish. And time is a resource owned back to them. 

Maddening that people can consistently find and take the most selfish take on every scenario.