NC 9 Months in, I'm healing 😘

[Apparently-wicked]

Hi all

So it's been 9 months since I decided to just let go.  He's still calling and leaving standardised 'how are you honey?' messages although I delete without listening the last few months. (All his calls go straight to vm)  In the calls I've listened to he never once mentions or wonders why I haven't returned any calls or visited him in 9 months even though we had been seeing eachother frequently!?!?  And although he is trying to ignore it away I know he's been saying ridiculous things about me to sib about alleged misdemeanours I did when I was 12.   He also wrote a letter a few weeks ago but I told sib I wouldn't even read it.  They confirmed it was a load of 'I've always done my best'.

As is the way, going nc has cemented why I can't be around him and the raw truth that he needs to hurt me. 

I'm doing well, reading lots, meditating, affirmations and just falling in love with my heart and my values and my dreams and my desires.

While I haven't given the no contact a time limit I know that the only way I will ever be in the same room with him is after he has had proper therapy based on his psycopathic traits.  But hey perfect people don't need therapy so I'm guessing this is for good 😂

I know KNOW that whatever he needs it is nothing I can offer and I know KNOW communicating with him will only violate my inner self.

To everyone, keep going.  If you're here and reading you're on to something and a new day is coming, lots of lovely days with people YOU deem worthy of YOU.

Love and light 😍

[Hepatica]

I really feel bolstered reading this.

I know KNOW that whatever he needs it is nothing I can offer and I know KNOW communicating with him will only violate my inner self.

To everyone, keep going.  If you're here and reading you're on to something and a new day is coming, lots of lovely days with people YOU deem worthy of YOU.

Having a very shaky time this weak with my resolve. I decided to just let go too this year, informally, not stated, just not reaching out after my uNPDf attacked me in August. He will never say sorry. The resolve I've had is now filled with angst that I am over-reacting, that I am the cause of all the problems in the FOO. I am trying to shake this off but on a bad day it's really hard.

Reading your post gives me strength and I sure hope that one day I have a larger circle around me of friends who I can just be me around and enjoy life with.

[Apparently-wicked]

The resolve I've had is now filled with angst that I am over-reacting, that I am the cause of all the problems in the FOO. I am trying to shake this off but on a bad day it's really hard.

You'll go through that again and again. The previous pattern in the family was you would collude in brushing the dysfunction under the rug.  And now you've decided to love yourself you're having to learn a new pattern and there are times when it feels unnatural.  It will feel unnatural because you're making new brain connections, you're learning a new skill, the skill of 'Your stuff, my stuff.' You're learning not to be emotionally responsible for the harm they have caused with their words, actions and  inactions.

If I treat someone poorly I am responsible for the outcome of that if they choose to not spend their limited time and energy on someone who can't behave like an adult. 

You're not responsible for this situation.  You didn't cause it.  All you're responsible for is how you behave.

❤❤