Always jumping to negative conclusions

[11JB68]

I feel like Spark will relate to this one...
It's about negativity and control/micromanagement.
I tell Updh ds texted hell be home in 2 hours.
H: ok
I walk away. Then hear an Ugh from h, followed by a question I can't hear. I return.
H: well, how fast is he driving that he'll be home in 2 hours??
Me: he's already on the road at a rest stop...
WHY must he do this?

[1footouttadefog]

It seems like he is trying to steal your joy/peace with these comments/questions.

[SparkStillLit]

Well, I'm snorting in laugh/commiserate/disgust.
Yes. Yes I can relate. Updh did it yesterday. Did they align and do it at the same time? WHO KNOWS.
In short, for reasons, DD gets to wear civvies on weekends. Shd didn't have any, of course, so she had to order some. She was very excited about this, as is the whole Company.
Dh upon hearing this: she spends SO much money! She's going to have to take all that with her when she goes!
Pardon my language, but wtf!! What on EARTH is she spending on ffs??? And what is "all this" she has to take?? She can't have anything with her, so, what, a few civvies??? ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME??? SHIT SHE CAN SHOVE IN A BAG?????
He's unreal.

[Prototypian]

Worst case scenario is my whole life.  If I get a major raise and bonus the concern is the next higher tax bracket, if our kid makes the varsity team its about the extra time commitment, if the stock market goes up it's about income inequality.   The life is the spin of worst case scenario in literally everything that goes on.  And for my uOCPD spouse it goes into every detail; parking at the local grocery is a serious evaluation of the worst points of every spot and every decision one could make from "what happens if a fire breaks out" to "that truck could back into the car" to "where is the shopping cart return and could one smash into the car". Nothing ever can be done without a deep and lengthy risk analysis.    Even the route you take to drop kids off at school must be reviewed and siscussed literally every time you drive it.

[Call Me Cordelia]

*coffee out the nose*

When we used to visit my uNPs, they would ask what time we were planning to arrive, naturally enough.

If we were the slightest bit early: “You made good time! You must have been flying! Really, how fast were you going?”

So I started skewing the ETA earlier than I really thought. Then it changed to “I was starting to wonder if something was wrong! Why didn’t you call???”
“It’s a two hour drive. I said we would be here around 1:00. It’s 1:07.”
“Yes, did you have trouble getting all those kids out the door again?”


OR

“Oh, you’ll understand when you have children driving with other people.” (Because my DH is equal to a newly licensed date?)


OR

Just so you’re safe! (Big engulfing hug.)



So I started calling when we were getting close and that was just so silly of me! No need for me to be so anxious! It is unreal. If the goal is to take you down, the PD will find a way, regardless of whether it makes any rational sense whatsoever.

[Sadhubby]

Yikes! It sounds as though you are dealing with real life sitcom caricatures that turn out not to be funny in real life...

My case is different. I'm basically waiting for pdw to escalate an incredibly common thing into a global catastrophe. My cat had an upset tummy for a few days, he must have feline immunodeficiency virus. I dripped some water on the kitchen floor, I created a serious health hazard. I don't remember or stick to oir infant's feeding schedule precisely, I'm a reckless father.

It's exhausting!

[SparkStillLit]

"What happens if a fire breaks out" I'll be waiting riiiiiiiight there for the fire truck to arrive
Seriously though. I showed dh a cute pic of dd and he flipped his lid in a most negative manner because she was standing rather cosily with a male. She has done nothing bad whatsoever and never been in trouble ever. Why he continually makes terrible predictions and assumptions about her is mind boggling.
Not just her, either. Evvvvvverything. Nothing is ever happy or positive or uplifting. EVER.

[Sadhubby]

Finding something out of date in the fridge... I think I deleted that protectively from my memory! Thats a clear sign of wanton money wasting, not caring about hygiene, expecting her to do everything, not having any initiative.... you name it, I did it.

[SparkStillLit]

Seeing me cook food, "Is that safe to eat?"
No. I cook toxic things for the family to eat on the regular. Wtf.

[Sadhubby]

Spilling a small amount of food cooking... "omg the whole kitchen is a disaster, you are filthy. I hate when you cook, I have to do so much work after you". I always clean up.

Or "it's impossible to do anything when you cook". I am making multi course meal for the family planned well in advance, she is doing some out of the blue rearranging or making tea or some latest healthy smoothy that she suddenly started to follow that day.

[SparkStillLit]

The blowing things out of proportion! I have learned to check with other sources or try to find concrete evidence of whatever "disasters" took place while I was not present. They never ever exist and are always some small potatoes, easily remedied situation.
There was a time when he used to invent daily crises involving the animals (who cannot talk and rat him out, of course) while I was on a 12 hour shift. He'd call me with these disasters. When my shift rotation was over, I would spend time patiently training the animals out of this purported behavior (which they oddly never displayed with me, or only very occasionally, so it was easy to lead them away from things they really didn't do, and into other things). But, lo and behold, some crisis next shift. Eventually I learned to make a mild training suggestion for him to use and leave him to it, and then not even that. Then, "Hmmm. That's a shame. Is it raining there? Sure is here."