Talking to himself

[HollyG]

Ok guys. Wtf is this: my husband talks to himself, not aloud but like he's whispering to himself and playing out scenarios in his mind. I hear him doing it in the bathroom too. I've asked, he's said he is stuck in his own head a lot and he does it when his anxiety creates various narratives.
My two cents... he's rehearsing being normal. He's practicing. Holy crap. Anyone else!?

[lakersgirl248]

it's not necessarily that. I sometimes talk to myself as well but if it bothers you so much you can try and talk to him about it and maybe convince him to go see a therapist first.

[stormbrewing]

Hi HollyG,

I wasn't sure whether to reply to this post, because while I have had similar experience it is not quite the same. Then I read some of your other posts, and honestly we could be talking about the same person.

Yes, he had moments of clarity and remorse. He had moments of showing what would appear to be empathy but the tears are actually all about him. He moped around the house telling me he is keeping to himself or being quiet so that he doesn't mess things up, but the words he uses will be 'I can't do anything right so why do anything' or 'I keep getting in trouble so I just won't say anything' or 'there's no point talking when I just *#@k everything up'. All of these statements were an attempt to get me to feel sorry for him, and were casting him in the role of victim.

In relation to this particular post, yes my stbxupdh would talk to himself. When he did this it was a clear sign that he was spiralling out of control, because it was often a passive aggressive diatribe. When this happened he was beyond the point of no return and a rage would soon follow. I worked out that there were certain triggers that would bring this on. One was psycho-phyisiological,  but he was therapeutic light-years away from understanding that. Another trigger was when he made attempts to suppress his anger, which would always come out eventually and usually the longer he suppressed it the worse it would be. He never could quite understand that the idea behind anger management is to notice when you are getting angry and find an appropriate outlet or way to process that anger. He just insisted that he wasn't allowed to get angry - which is completely impossible and did more harm than good.

If hearing him talking to himself is making you feel unsafe or uncomfortable then trust your gut. I really hope that you are doing ok and that you are able to work towards a path out of this. Keep posting.

[DCF1952]

Hi. Super new here.

Re: talking to self. I have noticed that my s/o does this constantly. I have assumed that it is intended to be passive aggressive towards me because I have mild hearing loss and I can not comprehend what is being said (usually) if there is any other background noise and if he mumbles.