Maybe Just Overthinking - Feeling A Bit Paranoid

[blunk]

Firstly, I'm not sure if this is the right board for this post, if not the moderators can feel free to move it.

In the last week I have received 2 calls, I didn't know the number and let them go to voicemail. The caller left a message saying they were from some bank and asking my bpdxh to call XXX number. It sounded like a bill collection call. Just hearing his name on the message sent me into a state of extreme anxiety. The issue is...we have been divorced for more than 5 years.

One of the last interactions I had with him was when he showed up at my house after I didn't answer his text about getting some items from the house. He asked if I got the text, I said no. He responded with, oh you must have changed your number. I did not respond to that statement. The truth is I had not changed my number, but had blocked and deleted his.

My mind has been racing:

-Is he ignoring their calls, and this company searched out my number as we were once on the same phone plan?
-Did he give my phone number purposely because he planned to default on this debt? His sister did this in the past, and I had to prove that I was not her, and provide them with her contact information before they eventually left me alone.
-Is he using any other information of mine? I have checked my credit reports, and it doesn't seem that he has applied for anything using my SSN, but he did do that while we were married.

And maybe the most paranoid thought of all...
-Is he trying to find me, and this is a ruse, and my responding to the voicemail will prove that I still use this number? This scares me, but on the other hand I don't want them continuing to call.

I hate that I still have any kind of reaction after this long. How is it that he is still having any effect on my life?

[notrightinthehead]

Same here, any indirect contact with PDxh triggers a tailspin of extreme anxiety within me. I have been out almost 3 years. The good side, the anxiety subsides faster and faster, my last episode only lasted 2 days and I was back to serenity and feeling good about myself. The trauma gets triggered and causes all sorts of physical and emotional responses. I guess I will have to live with that and learn to handle it better and better.

[DetachedAndEngaged]

As a practical matter, i think your 1st guess is right (since you've checked you credit report): he is ignoring their calls, and this company is using an old number on file.

I had a similar situation years back after I got a new phone # that a collection agency had on file for someone who owed them $.

My suggestion: Google the number and see if it is linked to the bank that left the message. Block your number before you call it, if it isn't the bank that answered hang up. If it is the bank, explain the situation and tell them to take you off their list. Block the number(s) the bank has called from. If they keep calling you'll need to send a certified letter telling them to stop calling you. You can find more info the FCC website.

On the iPhone you can set it to "Do Not Disturb" and then allow all calls from people in your contacts. Probably possible to do this with Android and other phones. That way blocked numbers will go straight to voice mail (but so will any number not in your contacts).