New therapist

[Amadahy]

Hi, y'all!

I'm just sort of ruminating here because I think I may give this another couple of sessions. 

I saw a new therapist today, after being with my former, really helpful therapist for nearly two years.  Well, it was night and day, first-impression-wise.  My former therapist was an EMDR practitioner, comfortable with pauses and silence, and talked very little (aka, I did most of the talking).  This therapist specializes in substance abuse, seems very task and goal oriented, is boisterous and talkative, and talked more than I did.  Granted, it was a first session and I know we're just getting to know each other, but I was exhausted afterward.  We went one hour longer than scheduled and she a few times overstepped her professional boundary by saying things like "I like you," and "we're sisters from another mother"..... That didn't feel appropriate.

First thought:  Sigh, I miss my first therapist.  She seemed to really "get" me and had a gentle, almost organic approach that I needed (perhaps still need). 

Second thought:  I am at a different place in therapy, so do I need a task-oriented person to shake things up and get me going since one of my issues is feeling in a rut, sort of stuck? 

Third thought:  Can I talk to this therapist about how this first session felt?  Would that be productive or helpful?  It is important to me not to just "put up with" treatment that does not help as I would have done this before learning to build better boundaries.  I did talk to DH about it, so that was helpful in processing.

Fourth thought:  I overthink everything!

LOL.

IDK what will happen.  I'm willing to go with it for a few more sessions and see.  I'd love any experiences or comments you care to offer. 

Thankee,

Amadahy  xoxo

[Andeza]

"I like you," and "we're sisters from another mother"

I'll be straight, this, at a first time meeting, sets off my PD radar. That's just my gut instinct, but... Yeah.

You do whatever you feel is appropriate in this situation, of course. If you want to attempt to talk about it, go ahead, and if they're a PD themselves you know exactly what kind of behavior you'll get. At least they are cut from similar cloth and all raise similar warning signs, not to mention using the same playbook. Means they get easier to spot as we grow and heal.

[Free2Bme]

 

My first reaction to your new T responses  ~Red flag.

In all my years, and several different T's (all which I would consider professional), none made comments like this. 

If it were me, I would vet a couple other T's before making a decision.  Afterall, it is your wellbeing and growth that is paramount.

I think you are wise to seek feedback here and I trust you will go into this with your eye's wide open.   

[11JB68]

Imo even the fact that it went an hour over time is a red flag and indicates boundary issues on the therapists part.

[GettingOOTF]

There are a lot of red flags here, the main one for me is going over by an hour. Can you try a couple of others before you decide.

I know it takes a while to build a relationship with a therapist but there are so many unprofessional and probably boarding on unethical behaviors here.

I would move on.

[DetachedAndEngaged]

If I felt so uncomfortable and exhausted after the first session with a therapist that I needed to talk about it at the next session, I wouldn't go back for a second session.

I think only a therapist who has a lot of knowledge and experience in dealing with people who are recovering from PD FOG can help anyone who finds this discussion board useful. That's the first thing I would look for if I were searching for a new T.

[treesgrowslowly]

There are some bad therapists out there. People who should not be in that job. I met a few long the way.

I've never had any counsellor go over by more than 2 or 3 minutes. They charge by the hour. Going over by an hour is a huge red flag.

My gut suspicion is that she is all about herself. Going over by an hour shows a lack of respect for your time. A 2 hour session if it is emotionally focused work is exhausting. Doing that is not a good sign at all. I would not go back.

I do believe that a small but problematic percentage of those in the therapy profession are narcissists themselves.

Trees

[Hepatica]

saying things like "I like you," and "we're sisters from another mother"..... That didn't feel appropriate.

Nope. She's unprofessional and potentially worse. My PD radar is going off as well. I felt ill just reading that. That is so so so so not okay. I wouldn't second guess yourself here. Feels inappropriate because that was inappropriate. Ew.

Trust your gut with therapists. You should feel right inside when you leave a session, never confused.

[Amadahy]

Thank you all so much! Detached and engaged, your initial comment gave me a chuckle....such concise wisdom!  ❤️ I can see a whole Jeff Foxworthy routine 😂

This board has never failed to help.  Thank you,