The good thing in my life

[JollyJazz]

Hi All,

I feel like the one main good thing in my life is my career. I've got a great job in an important field at the moment. Not to add to much detail but it's a high profile area. I've worked so hard for this for YEARS. I paid for my own graduate study, I was so poor while studying and went without a lot.
I just wish my parents, family could acknowledge this and support me, at least pay attention.

Instead my mother (and the rest of the family) are giving me the silent treatment. This is because my mother burst into my house and then bedroom, grabbed my leg (despite me politely pleading with her not to come around) and then I texted her asking her to stop doing that.

I love my new job, but I'm so lonely and isolated outside of work.

My love life is picking up, I'm working on making new friends. My social anxiety and fear of rejection kicks in, in these areas. I am persisting though.

I'm starting to feel a few bubbles of (healthy) anger. Their abuse affected my whole life, and worst of all my relationships. I'm sick sick of feeling bad about myself. I try SO hard, to be good, to be kind, to be considerate.
So many people have told me I'm kind.

I did EVERYTHING for my parents over lockdown. I'm so sick of feeling not good enough. Other people would be proud to be my sister, or parent. I just want to be accepted, basic respect, kindness.

Sorry this is a rant.
I'm just struggling, but at least my emotional immune system is kicking in!!!

I'm good enough, and I don't deserve abuse.

[Jolie40]

So many people have told me I'm kind.

yes, grab that validation from other people

once when I was out helping a client, a stranger came up to me & said "you're very patient"
that made me feel good

let's remember when others say good things about us
and give ourselves that pat on the back, too

[JollyJazz]

Hi Jolie,

Thanks so much for that ☺️
That is good advice. I think I'll write down some nice things people have said to me.

I'm feeling very fragile at the moment. Just on edge, tense and I can feel tears pricking at the sides of my eyes.

I'm just tired of being hurt like this 😔😢

[Boat Babe]

Hey JJ. We see you and we hear you. And we feel your pain and your incredulity at this continual toxic behaviour on the part of your FOO. Here's a massive hug my dear ❤️❤️❤️

It sounds like you are on a very good path and your family hate that. They shouldn't, but that's PDs for you. I encourage you to continue with prioritising your  career, your widening social circle and all the things that bring you meaning, purpose and joy. Do you have therapeutic support at the moment? That might be just the ticket in these difficult times.  Can you further lower contact with your FOO and change the locks?

I was feeling particularly low last week (see my most recent post) but am back to normal again after some lovely messages from other forum members and a few days of improved self care. I wish you well JJ.

[JollyJazz]

Hi Boatbabe,

Thanks so much for your kind words 🤗
I'm feeling a lot better today.

I'm getting there, it's all just been a lot to deal with!!!

I'm stepping up the self care and I have some therapeutic support and am getting more soon 😊

Thanks again and I hope that things get better for you too!