Why does inconsequential stuff matter when it doesn't

[Prototypian]

I post too much but I'm constantly surprised.   In our home we had these firehouse style lockers built between the garage and the kitchen as a sort of mudroom.   It's indoors and each person has one for their school stuff, sports fear, keys etc.   For se reason my uOCODw can't stand and has never been able to handle that other people like to hang keys on a hook.   I originally drilled some holes and put a hook in mine and I got in a lot of trouble.   Then after I fixed that up I bought those temporary command strips things that act as hooks but don't mark anything.   She spent weeks looking up reasons they tear up a finish.   Now she simply takes them down every time I put them up.   Her reason is "I just don't like the look of a hook in the cubbies.".  Except this is my space, I like to hang up my keys, she actually has two of the "locker cubbies" and they're both full floor to ceiling.   Why in the world does she care so much about something so.stuoid as to whether or not someone hangs up their own keys.  Same thing with washing dishes by hand, she absolutely hates when I do that and will actively stop me.   Not because I do a poor job or because she is worried about breaking dishes but because "the dishwasher is more efficient and we don't want to waste water". I get it but seriously?   Stopping me from doing dishes to let them.sit overnight in the sink?   Why???

[11JB68]

With pwocpd it's always'their way out the highway'.

[Free2Bme]

Jsinjin~

Trying to make sense of the nonsensical......an exercise in futility.

My T noticed that I would preface sentences about my updxh with ....  "you would think he would ....x, y, z...". He caught me on this and asked why I would expect any different.

PD's process information very differently, this is reality.  It is habit for me to expect otherwise.

[Boat Babe]

You can't argue with crazy I'm afraid. There is NO reason for the crap with the keys in YOUR space other than bugging the hell out of you.

Nons waste so much time trying to figure this madness out. Please don't and see it for what it is; the playing out of PD pathology in the arena of interpersonal relationships. It sucks big-time, is painful, baffling and wears us down.

Remember, you didn't cause it, you can't control it and you can't cure it.  What CAN you do for yourself in this situation though? That's the way forward.

Sending hugs ❤️

[Kat54]

Controlling every aspect of life. Even where keys are supposed to go. Hang in there

[BeautifulCrazy]

It's your cubby and your space. You are free to draw a boundary around it. Same with anything. People value things differently.
"This is My Cubby. I am in charge of My Cubby. These ones are yours. You decide how to use your cubbies. I decide what happens in mine. Please do not remove my hooks. I do not touch your things, please respect mine in return."

In a marriage, or a shared home, opinions and priorities differ. Some things are negotiable, some are not and it varies from person to person. If someone places that much importance on something, there are ways to compromise. (Put up a door or curtain. Put the hook out of sight. Find a hook that's really attractive.) If you do not find it important, you can choose to ignore, or to draw a boundary. (Yeah, I know, the fallout.... just sayin')