Challenges and strengths

[treesgrowslowly]

What's a challenge you discovered with recovery from narc abuse?

What's something you've strengthened over the last year?

I've found being lonely to be a challenge of recovery. Pandemic making that a bigger challenge for sure.

I've strengthened my use of music to help process emotions. Finding the right songs for how I'm feeling has become more and more helpful when emotions come up. Happy sad lonely contemplative encouraged discouraged, inspired, tired...music is always there. It's reliable, which is nice, when we live with so much uncertainty.

Interested to hear what others here have discovered as your strengths and challenges this year.

Trees

[Jolie40]

trees, great idea using music!

strengths:
1) tried something new- online shopping & like it!
despite saying I'd never shop online
2) getting more sleep & less stressed since going NC
3) adding more fun lately
walk trails/picnics
movies from library to go/watching hallmark Christmas movies
playing more games

challenge:
1) trying to get over loss of our pet
2) taxes 1/2 done - worst yr ever for procrastination as never missed deadline before

[Sapling]

Great question trees.

Challenge: dealing with the intense anger that gets unleashed when you fully realise that it is narc abuse you've been experiencing.

Strengthened: My ability to walk away from ongoing harm without JADE-ing.

[treesgrowslowly]

Those sound good Jolie 40 especially the walks.

Sapling- walking away without JADEing is really hard sometimes. Good for you for strengthening that muscle!

Trees

[Boat Babe]

Very good question. Thanks ☺️

Challenges:
Living alone (usually ok cos of work and activities and friends but, hey, Covid)
Still smoking 😬
Still co-dependant (as in still willing to change aspects of myself to feel loved. I'm working on it!!!)
Procrastination. Getting worse as lockdown continues.

That'll do. Blimey, not there yet then!

Strengths:
Resilience. I have survived sooo much, I am living proof of it, even if it doesn't always feel that way.
Coping skills. Excellent.
Social skills: excellent
Value system reasonably in line with my life. I'm working hard to do the right thing even if no one is looking!
Great FOC
Grateful for all the many good things in my life.
Good physical health.
Reasonably good mental health
My brain still works 😃


That was a useful exercise for me. Thanks for posting. I think survivors of PD abuse develop a very particular set of skills! 

[Sapling]

Sapling- walking away without JADEing is really hard sometimes. Good for you for strengthening that muscle!
Trees

Thanks for saying that Trees. It has not been easy! But it has freed up my energy for more meaningful and healthy connections (Including with myself). 

[treesgrowslowly]

Boat babe glad it was helpful!

Sapling yes. We need that energy for our own work. The negative experiences from JADEing are just too draining.

Trees

[Stillirise]

Thank you for suggesting this wonderful exercise!

Challenges:
—Overcoming procrastination (my mind just feels numb some days.)
—Occasional bouts of loneliness/self-pity
—Indecisiveness about next steps/fear of choosing the "wrong" path forward
—Reviving my former career during a pandemic

Strengths:
—I have made a calm, healthy home for myself, my children, and our pets
—Better FOC relationships, and recognizing some that weren't in my best interest
—Gaining the confidence that I can raise 2 kids, maintain a home, and earn an income by myself. I'm not perfect at any of it, but I now realize I don't have to be.
—I've also been using music, and podcasts a lot more this year, to help me focus, or change my perspective when I'm in a rut.

Best wishes to you all, and thanks again for this helpful exercise!

[Poison Ivy]

As far as the people with PDs are concerned, my primary challenge and strength are the same: not blaming them for all my problems. Sometimes I do better at this than at other times, thus making it fit both categories.