New here. So tired.

[Itsmylife272]

Hello everyone. I am SO glad i found this site. I will try to sum up my situation as briefly as possible.

After 24 years of marriage to an emotionally-distant man, a former boyfriend "found" me on facebook. I was vulnerable and lonely, so I made the HUGE mistake of reconnecting with him.

I quickly (and stupidly) divorced. Then allowed the bf to move into my home.

Things went downhill quickly. He was (is) verbally abusive, manipulative, and i think - mentally unstable. Here are just a few of the lies he has told me.

That he had divorce papers ready to go. Not true. His wife didn't even know he had left her. She thought he was out of town.

Said be had a big dog that would ride in his truck and would sleep at the side of his granddaughter. No such dog existed.

That he had a large boat. Nope.

That he was going for anger management counseling after he was arrested for domestic violence. BIG lie. Pretended to be going to meetings and even took photos of himself in front of the Counseling building. Made up names and entire conversations.

Told several people his mom died. Not true.

He finally actually divorced when he got custody of his grandkids and he got caught in THAT lie. I cared for this the grandkids in my home for 2 years. I have spend all my savings to care for him. (My ex husband died suddenly in 2019.)

I have cared for him after his 2 surgeries. Most recently he badly broke his leg and is now in a wheelchair. Im taking care of him 24/7 and yet he is still mean.

I have to sell my house now. He is angry because I am selling and he realizes it's the end of his free ride.

I know I should just throw him out. I have tried and yet allowed myself to be manipulated by promises of a beautiful future. There is something wrong with ME to allow this to continue. Ugh.

Anyway that's my story in a nutshell. Thanks for listening.

[notrightinthehead]

Welcome! I am sorry you find yourself in this situation.
When you say, it has come to the end of his free ride, does that mean you have decided to separate from him or is that something that you are considering but not yet sure about?
You also say you have tried to throw him out but then were swayed by promises of a beautiful future. This seems to imply that you still have hope for a good future together and want to work on that relationship.
I have found great help from reading and applying the strategies described in the toolbox, especially medium chill, grey rock, boundaries and non JADE, You might also find good information in the books "Co-dependent no more" by Beatty and "Stop Caretaking the borderline/narcissist" by Fijelstad.
You have found a good place here, you are not alone, whatever you decide to do, stay or not, there are others who are on a similar journey. See you around.

[Itsmylife272]

Thank you for listening. I used to have hope but not anymore. Financially I can't keep going with the relationship. However, I will read the resources you've said to keep myself from repeating the cycle. 🙏