Introducing myself

[FightingNarcAbuse]

Hello there!

I am new to the forum and would like to share a little bit about my story.

I came across personality disorders about couple of years ago. Even though I have education in Psychology it wasn't until I became pregnant with and gave birth that I got to fully see the common PD behaviors of my mother. I suspect the FOO family is narcissistic and very enmeshed. There are no boundaries between family members and I knew nothing about boundaries until recently. I am almost 40 and the mother wants to know everything I am doing and my whereabouts at all times while the father has been mostly absent and alienated; at times, he has been brought into the picture by the mother only when I resist her control. I moved to another country but prior to this and in the span of about 3 years when I return to live with my parents she has learned all my vulnerabilities against me. She is very good at manipulation and uses my sibling to gather information and report it back to her. I asked the mother to come with me to a pychiatrist and she used the information to engineer similar situations I had a fear of.

Long story short, I believe she has not stopped stalking me even after I left. I believe at least one neighbor is involved and suspect that she has gotten through to an organisation I am receiving services from. I refused to accept her financial support and a toy from her a while back and this organization has been gifted me things and provided links to additional resources. I have applied for said resources and the toy only to be asked to provide personal documents in order to establish eligibility or to get them. This is very triggering as I feel violated and that I was manipulated. I suspect the mother is behind all this as ways to control me. In the past she blurpped things such as 'control from the distance' and 'devide and conquer'. Some of the behaviors displayed are textbook and it makes it even more scary. Now I am in doubt if to submit the application with the documents or back out of it. I feel manipulated and violated.

[notrightinthehead]

Welcome!  You have every right to decide which information to share with your family, even your mother. If you don't want your mother to know what goes on in your life, you can do everything you need to in order to insure that. You can even ask other people not to share information with your mother, but if they comply with your request is of course up to them.
Usually when government organizations provide services and assistance they ask for a lot of personal information in order to ensure that their assistance does not go to people who are not entitled to it. I agree with you, some of these questionaires can be quite intrusive. It is still up to you if you want the assistance under these conditions.
What makes you think that your mother has access to the organization you are dealing with?
Please make use of the resources on this site - you might benefit from reading the toolbox. See you around!