Cryptic messages that seem menacing

Wontgetmygoat · January 17, 2021, 01:11:29 AM

I have recently left my parents house after realizing I was and have been filling the roll of scapegoat basically all my life. Im hesitant to post too many details, fairly certain that my phone is monitored somehow also. I didn't say anything to anyone before I left and didn't give too many indicators that I had made this realization in the days prior to leaving. I did start setting some boundaries and called out a couple instances where inappropriate things were said.

The day I left, from basically the time one of my parents got home and saw I was gone with some of my items I was immediately mobbed via text and phone calls which lasted until early in the morning. Lots of worried about you, where are you, are you coming home, call me, call one of us. It hasn't stopped.

Voice-mails with overly emotional fake ive been crying voices, extra strange was that I was getting these only hours after they saw I was not there.

There was physical violence towards me in the recent months.

In the combined messages, i think basically they intend me harm. that's what I gather from some cryptic messages. That they never "wished me gone", they are unhappy with the deal, they essentially low key threatened my life and my child's via voicemail. Or threatened a situation where I'm in jail and my child can never ever be with me again. As I write this my phone is receiving yet more messages from my mother, which are increasingly desperate sounding as if she knows what I'm writing. She's calling too and alluded to knowing my location.

I feel threatened.

Boat Babe · January 17, 2021, 05:00:21 AM

Hi there and first of all, well done for getting out. You are very brave.

In the first instance please document everything. Secondly, if you feel threatened, please go to the police. Hopefully you have friends who can support you.

Having malignant parents is just awful and you must be feeling terrible. Please do everything you can to support your mental, emotional and physical health (not easy as a single parent and during Covid)

Stay on the boards with us as you have complete understanding and support from fellow survivors. Sending hugs.

Spring Butterfly · January 17, 2021, 05:48:09 AM

That's so scary and I'm so glad you're out and in a physically safe place. Now to get you mentally and emotionally in a safe place. Is there anyway you could ditch that phone and switch? Any way that you could lock their calls either from the carrier or from the phone itself?

I'm sorry your experiencing this and we're here to support you!

ETA No need to provide details then you feel safe doing. Usually with just a few words so many of us can relate. We know

Lili.on.the.rocks · January 17, 2021, 07:59:39 AM

Hello Wontgetmygoat!

I have been there, and as ''cold'' or ''scary'' as it may seem, simply blocking is the only way how to distance yourself completely. Otherwise, no matter how far you move, if whoever is bothering can still reach you on the phone, it never feels like you are actually away from them. Do it fast and furious and enjoy your silent phone without weird manipulator messages.

Lots of strength!

BettyGray · January 17, 2021, 04:22:51 PM

Agree with Lill

Blocking was the only thing I could do so that I could go on with my life. You not only feel threatened, you're absolutely being threatened. Blocking gives you a way to create a safety around your phone, too. As much as I use my phone (admittedly, probably a little too much), I was angry that they had access to upset me, even through my physical body. I would be holding my phone, and it would buzz with a message. The panic swept from my fingers all the way into my rapidly beating heart and knotted stomach. You have to shut that crap down, NOW. By not blocking, you are unintentionally hurting yourself.

Now, blocking will infuriate them, to be sure. But don't let their bullying keep you in a constant state of panic. If there is no rational reason to let them have access to you, then go forward, then you have the right to protect yourself. They do not deserve you.

On the bright side, congratulations!!!

You're out. Try to focus on how big a success this move was. It may take time for you to realize how courageous you are, but it is true. You did the right thing.

Now keep records. If it escalates, you'll have hard evidence.

DistanceNotDefense · January 17, 2021, 06:42:59 PM

Quote from: Liz1018 on January 17, 2021, 04:22:51 PM
Blocking was the only thing I could do so that I could go on with my life. You not only feel threatened, you're absolutely being threatened. Blocking gives you a way to create a safety around your phone, too. As much as I use my phone (admittedly, probably a little too much), I was angry that they had access to upset me, even through my physical body. I would be holding my phone, and it would buzz with a message. The panic swept from my fingers all the way into my rapidly beating heart and knotted stomach. You have to shut that crap down, NOW. By not blocking, you are unintentionally hurting yourself.

TwentyTwenty · January 18, 2021, 12:14:15 AM

Sorry you are going through this!

As was mentioned earlier, the police is the very best option and should be done immediately, especially since you feel threatened and stalked. Such behavior is illegal. Then I would also look into getting a cease and desist order.

Medowynd · January 18, 2021, 01:37:54 PM

I suggest a call to your cellphone provider to see about clearing any tracking software. If you share an account with your family, I would get a new phone and send the old one back to them or dispose of it.

moglow · January 18, 2021, 04:49:52 PM

QuoteIf you share an account with your family, I would get a new phone and send the old one back to them or dispose of it.

Yep, this! Start there, then separate any and all financial ties as soon as you can. If you have joint accounts with them, close them out if at all possible. Open your own accounts going forward and don't accept their offers to cosign or joint anything. It may take some time to rebuild and become truly independent but it's worth it, not having them in your personal business.

Hold fast to your boundaries and expect the unexpected. They may pull out all the stops and promise the moon to get you back in line. Hold your cards close to your chest and don't share personal information. As my brother says, they can't get your goat if they don't know where you keep it.