Triangulating?

[Dollydrops]

When I met this person he was obsessive, wanted to know about my day, he would msg just to say he was thinking of me and ask what I was doing, then have a back and forth conversation about it with a lot of detailed interest.
Now, his messages, although he says hes thinking of me, are mainly about himself. Details of his current illness, every detail about the bad points at work etc. I've realised over the past months that he never asks about my day anymore. If I tell him something about myself...even in person, he mentions someone else, they're did that too, she had that too etc. Hes recently messaged to say he was just reading a long letter from me, loves me with all his heart...then says I'm not alone, will talk soon. Why then if not alone would he be reading a long letter from me and then let me know?  I replied to it and heard not a word since. Hes not messaging when hes alone at present though.
I kinda felt like hes sat there pushing the buttons of the person hes with.
Anyone have anything similar?

[clara]

It could be triangulation, or it could be typical NPD love-bombing behavior, where they draw you into their life and once you're in, start the process of push-pull.  No matter the reason, he's manipulating you.  Do you really know if he's involved with someone else?  Because he could be leading you to believe that in order to keep you off balance regarding the relationship.  He could be testing your boundaries in order to see how vulnerable you are.

Honestly, everything you describe is classic NPD.  If he's not responding to your reply, it might be best to just let it go and not pursue it further.  He's showing who he is, and he's not going to change.  Be prepared for him to re-emerge at some point, however.  As long as you're useful to him in some way, he'll want to keep you around.

[blacksheep7]

I'm sorry you are going through this.  Your intuitions/feelings are right, there is something wrong here.  I would also say that it could be lovebombing.  A one-way emotional relationship is not a good start. I read it again this morning, an emotional connection it is a must.

You have self-awareness.  You have to follow your emotions that are just validation of what is going on.

[Dollydrops]

I've had the constant love bombing for 2.5 years. This is an emotional affair I've been drawn into. He says hes deeply unhappy.
Hes had intermittent times when hes said his spouse complains of lack of intimacy and then dropped night time contact for a while, leaving me with thoughts I'd rather not have. Most recent time I questioned him on his intentions in a long correspondence and said if he wants to rebuild his marriage then he should say.
His reply was just that he loves me like he cant describe and will talk soon. That was twelve days ago. I'm finding myself leaving him unanswered messages feeling confused because his contact is dwindling. Does he want me to end it? Why then is he love bombing me just to keep me waiting for an explanation? I'm feeling like I've gone full circle and its switched to me initiating when it's been him all this time.