Introduction

[Jolocore]

I've been divorced from my borderline/NPD ex for 2.5 years now.  I found this site when I was researching how, if, and when to tell my children the truth about their father.  I have a 19 yr old son and a 14 yr old daughter.  My daughter suffers the most because she still sees her dad every other weekend and she is always being blamed for something. 

I'm looking forward to gaining more knowledge and perspective from all of you and also supporting others.  Thanks for having me!

[ShyTurtle]

Welcome, Jolocore!

I'm also divorced from my updex. Year's ago, I tried cautioning my sons about my ex, but they went to live with him anyway. This year, my youngest had a mental health crisis because of narcissistic abuse from his dad. He lives with me now (it's only.been a few months) and is decidedly nc with his dad. He's 16 and we talk about it more and more all the time, reflecting on his experiences so he can make sense of things and heal.

Depending on their maturity, you can help them understand the basics of what they are dealing with in a way that doesn't put them in an awkward position but actually empowers them.

My son went from being extremely depressed to relatively calm and hopeful. I wish the same for your kids! I think more than anything, just listening to them is the best thing we can do to help.

[notrightinthehead]

I want to add my welcome and suggest you read the Toolbox.  Any strategies you think might be helpful to your daughter, you could discuss them with her and practise them with her.