Lockdown making hubby a narcissist?

[Spirit in the sky]

Hi there,

I have posted on other threads because my father ( now deceased) had a PD and also my MIL.  Have always suspected my husband has too but I'm not sure.

I don't even know where to start. I just know I feel drained when I'm around him if he's not getting his own way. If I'm cooperating and everything is to his liking it's all good but if I have a different of opinion or don't stick to his plans he sulks and gets moody. Like he's trying to punish me, my father used to reject me if he didn't get his own way all the time.

I'm finding my husband has become very angry and opinionated during the lockdown. He's always watching things about conspiracy theories and calling people who follow the rules 'sheep'.
This includes me unless he benefits and then it's ok for me wear a mask or social distance if it means he gets what he wants from the shop.

He's also been very rude to people who are following the rules, trying to intimidate them by not social distancing or mocking people who wear a mask outside. It's so bad now I refuse to go out with him.

If I say anything he says I'm brainwashed and just giving in to the government who are making the rules. I don't have a problem taking orders or following rules. I may not agree with them but if it makes other people more comfortable, I'm ok with it.

Now he has been warned by the police for harassing people for wearing masks in public. His mother has also been verbally insulting people and attending anti lockdown marches. I'm not surprised by his behaviour because he's always shown signs of being manipulative and controlling but this is a new level of dysfunctional behaviour.

[notrightinthehead]

That cannot be easy for you. I think you are doing marvellously as you behave in a way that you have decided is responsible and mature and let your husband and his mother do what they think is right. 

[IcedCoffee]

Or it might be the way the world is these days. Covid/masks is probably dividing families in a way that politics in the US and UK has been doing recently. (This is the first time I've realized how lucky I am that my W is uBPD and not NPD...so she is always going to absorb the beliefs/politics of the last person she speaks to, usually me! I knew there'd be a silver lining if I looked hard enough!)

I have family members who are into conspiracy theories, but they are "mostly harmless." It does seem that if you believe one you pretty much believe them all. But harassing people is an unacceptable level.

Try not to get involved.

Or maybe it's a "feelings before facts" thing. Some PDs feel first and then twist the facts to explain the feeling. Something to address with mindfulness or dialectical behavior therapy?

Sorry, just a stream of consciousness!