SGs were your children affected also

[Jolie40]

since I was SG, it seemed PD parent carried that over to our child

GC's kids were fawned over, given expensive gifts, had sleepovers, & college fund accts set up

PD parent never, ever missed other grandkid b'days but somehow was sick & cancelled last minute for several of our child's b'days

we even rescheduled b'day few times to accommodate but still no show
last b'day we had (precovid) , I mailed invites & got email that PD couldn't come - no reason given

child got last minute invite (an hour) to grandkid sleepover -first ever invite & our child super excited
later found out sleepovers were a "before school yr tradition" yet our child had never been invited before
all siblings & PD parent kept it a secret from us...what the heck?!

I'm NC now & it's no surprise our child has no interest in contacting PD parent, either
child saw & felt the difference in treatment vs other grandkids

did PD parent treat your kids differently, also?

[SparkStillLit]

PD parent put the same roles on my children. GC boy, SG girl, same as in my FOO growing up. Very ugly, really, and as they've grown up it's gotten worse. She said ugly things to me about DD's marriage, which caused brief NC from me.

[Call Me Cordelia]

I had the only grandkids for both sets of PD parents. I was SG in my family, DH not so much. But both sets pretty much ignored our children's existence. We lived far away. Lack of object constancy maybe?

[M0009803]

One of the main drivers of NC for me was not letting my uPDM/uPDSis anywhere near our daughter (she is almost 2 now).

Kids are like sponges and very impressionable, so even a brief moment of toxicity can do immense damage.

Additionally, I had zero desire to be around people who always cause me to be on guard.  It tends to be an unpleasant, energy-sucking experience.