Literally sick and tired.

[TooLiteral]

Is anyone else chronically ill? Do you have an invisible illness? A disability? Are you diagnosed with something that makes you physically sick and incapacitated sometimes?

I have a couple of different illnesses that I deal with and today it dawned on me that the stress of dealing with my NPDh exacerbates, triggers, and may even enforce these illnesses. I jusy wonder how much of my problems would be alleviated were I to leave. I mean I know I will never be RID of these diseases, but would my symptoms lessen? Would they come and go less often?

Would I be literally less sick and tired all the time?

[GettingOOTF]

When I was married to BPDxH I was sick all the time. Once my doctor said to me "you are too young to be in here all the time with all these issues".

A lot of my issues were things like skin things, allergies, being exhausted all the time, one random infection after another. I once got shingles. Shingles!

After I left the marriage I saw that I was under constant stress and how that impacted my health. They say that stress is the most damaging thing you can do to your body.

I still have many of the same issues but they they are really mild. I also lost 30lbs without even trying. It simply fell off once I was no longer constantly stressed.

There are many books that touch on this. The Body Keeps Score is the one I see mentioned most.

[Boat Babe]

From what I understand, when we are stressed, our bodies produce adrenaline and cortisol. These hormones prepare our bodies for fight or flight. Really useful on the African Savannah back in the day. A couple of spikes a day followed by vigorous exercise (running away from the lion) and all is good. However, the 24/7 stress that we experience around PDs is a real health problem. Our bodies are constantly awash with stress hormones which then has a cumulative effect on the body leading to specifically inflammatory and auto-immune conditions. Any medical people out there, please flag up if this is incorrect.

I was diagnosed with endometriosis just after leaving a highly toxic uPDbf many moons ago. It was really painful. Amazingly, it cleared up on its own over the next two years or so and never came back. I have no way of knowing if it was coincidental or causation, but the timing was telling.

As I write this, I am reminded of something from that period. The abdominal pain was excruciating so I went to the doctor. I was tested for a number of things including cancer. I remember thinking "Well, at least Jxxx will be nice to me now." That's how foggy I was. Welcoming cancer as it might make my cruel and manipulative bf be kind to me. Don't think I have ever shared that particular little gem with anyone. I left shortly after that. Left a note and ran for the hills.

[SparkStillLit]

I have chronic illnesses, and some new ones, that I'm certain would be either lessened or gone with the removal of PD from my life. The one has gotten worse over time, so bad that without meds I'm in constant significant pain and not able to function. I bet a butt cheek that one would be greatly reduced. Probably not gone, but I bet way more manageable. The other, too, would have a reduction in severity.
I am trying to take way better care of myself and allow PD WAY less space in my life, but still and all. It's challenging of itself, having known no other way of life.

[blunk]

Though I do not have any chronic or diagnosed conditions, I definitely had physical manifestations of stress while I was with my bpdxh. I suffered from constant heartburn, to the point where I was checked to see if I had an ulcer in my 30s. I also suffered from recurrent headaches, muscle pain (especially my neck and shoulders), and towards the end I could not be in the same room with him without shaking.

I have absolutely no doubt that it was all stress induced. In fact, the night I told him that I wanted a divorce, the shaking stopped. I can't remember the last time I needed to take an antacid, headaches are infrequent and usually related to allergies, and no more muscle pain...well no more than anyone else my age.

It is shocking how much of a physical effect stress has on the human body. I hope that you are able to find relaxation and healing.

[ploughthrough2021]

Yep, I have picked up a skin picking disorder that I think is amplified by having to deal with my uNPDW of 25  years plus 5 before marriage. And just constantly tired.

[Lauren17]

Yes. This is something I've been tuning in to more lately. I'm seeing that I have different sick reactions to different things.
I recently contacted a lawyer to start talking divorce. I was queasy and trembling for several hours after. (Acute stress/feat)
I have recurring neck and muscle pain and headaches. I'm often, if not always tired.  (Higher than normal stress)
I have several chronic things that the docs can't find a clear cause for: skin conditions, stomach conditions and migraines. (Chronic stress)