Settlement Agreement reached - I got what I asked for!

[LiftingFog]

Recap:  My lawyer countered my unpdSTBxh's last offer, raising it 5K.  The offer was sent 2/26.  No word since, and I emailed my lawyer Monday asking for a status update.  He emailed STBxh's lawyer and got a response back within 30 minutes.  "My client finds the 75K agreeable.  Please draw up the paperwork."

STBxh thought I'd cave when I was left hanging.  He thought I'd be desperate to settle quickly.  He thought I'd be in dire straits financially and would be happy with his first 3 low (2 of which were laughably lowball) offers.  He thought he could control me one last time when he didn't respond right away to my offer.  He was wrong on all counts.  He's never seen this scrappy side of me.   

I'm not making any money off this, but we're avoiding court. I knew he would have too much anxiety to  go before a judge, plus the risk that the judge would give everything to me was too great.  His lawyer "strongly advised" him to accept it.

I'm being reimbursed for the cash I put out for expenses relating to our "dream home" and his 2020 Tesla.  (He paid cash in full for the house which left him cash poor, so I covered everything after, including the down payment on his new car.  He still has his other car too.)

I'm getting my money back and that's all I wanted.  There is light at the end of the tunnel!  HOWEVER...he still needs to sign it.  I'm waiting to exhale until that's done.

[GettingOOTF]

This is incredible! Good for you for being clear on what you wanted and going after it.

Fingers crossed he signs and you can put this behind you.

[Stillirise]

Well done! Congratulations! You held your ground and it payed off.  I'm where you are. I've said the last year has been a balance between moving things forward, yet not seeming too eager.  We have agreed to all the terms, but now have to await the required documents and signatures.  I'm optimistic, but won't be able to truly believe it's happened until I see the decree signed by the judge!  Best wishes to you!

[Penny Lane]

This is a huge victory!

[LiftingFog]

This is incredible! Good for you for being clear on what you wanted and going after it.

Fingers crossed he signs and you can put this behind you.

Thank you!!  It was because of advice from this forum that I was able to keep "my eye on the prize."

And huge thanks to everyone who read my posts, offered advice, sent positive vibes, and cheered me on.  Have that kind of support kept me going when I was tempted to just accept the minimum to move on.  Standing my ground with a clear head and not letting him bully me...anymore...has done wonders for my self esteem.

(((Group hug to everyone!!)))

[sevenyears]

  Way to go! You worked hard for this.

[LiftingFog]

Another update - (didn't want to start a new thread)

Apparently his lawyer has stated that his client (my soon to be ex) finds my terms acceptable, and we are waiting for his state of residency to issue the proper paperwork for me to sign over the deed.

In the meantime, I'm spending all of my free time on Zillow looking and dreaming of MY dream home.

I came to a major realization that I am enough.  I do not want or desire any male companionship, in any form, other than just friends, if that's even possible.  And it was so liberating.  Of course, I will allow myself to re-evaluate and change my mind if need be, however, I know myself and my mind very well and I felt nothing but relief and joy when I decided my life is all about me now.  A few friends don't believe me, but then I remind them that their "prediction" of me wanting to have children would change.  I'm now 54, childfree, and have zero regrets.   

[GettingOOTF]

It sounds like you are in a good place. I am thankful every single day that I never had kids with my ex. Mainly because I know first hand what his PD and my codependency would have done to them, but also because I have zero ties to him.