EFT / Tapping

[Oscen]

I remember a colleague told me about tapping. I tried it out several times and to my complete amazement, it worked wonderfully. For some bizarre reason, I stopped. Didn't do it for more than a week. At that point in my life, I had zero commitment to anything (CPTSD/helplessness/procrastinating behaviour ruled my entire life), so it was pretty normal behaviour from me, even though it made no sense to just stop something that gave me great relief. And it was free! And private! And non-invasive! What was I thinking?!

So recently I have come back to it as I'm looking at processing my emotions to be more calm and stable in stressful situations. I remember how well it worked and I'm stunned that I stopped! It got me thinking. To be honest, I'm not sure I wanted it to work, because at that time, I didn't actually want to change.

I think one of the reasons I was reluctant to continue EFT was because I hadn't understood what the emotions were about; hadn't listened to what they were telling me, hadn't learned from them. I was so angry and upset and distrustful of people.... but I hadn't yet learned to point the finger at my parents and call what they did abuse. I  think I didn't want to drop the feelings of anger, fear and sadness I had, because it felt like they were the only things protecting me. It seemed like the world wanted to deny my reality and morph me into a sedated Pollyanna, whether that was through Eft or drugs or telling me to pipe down or whatever... and I was resisting that.

Now I know that had I kept going with EFT, it would have brought my emotional reactivity down so that I could observe, learn, develop better judgment, connect with other people, and heal much quicker that way. I just needed to understand my emotions and understand the value and power of being calm and non-reactive. I needed to learn that value for myself through trial and error before I appreciated a technique that made me feel better.

Has anyone else resisted something that worked?

[Andeza]

I had to look this up, because I haven't heard of it before. Which, it's kinda surprising I haven't heard of it before because it sounds right up my alley. Might try it out.

Did I resist things that help? Yes. It's complicated, but I'll explain as briefly as possible. I learned, probably about seven years ago, that watching videos for ASMR on YouTube was majorly relaxing. Stress would just melt off of me, and I would phase slowly into something kin to a meditative state. But, I fought wanting to watch the videos on and off for the first two years because they were "weird." I finally accepted that's just what works for me, and now these videos can put me to sleep at night in under twenty minutes even in the face of insomnia.

I also rolled my eyes internally at anything traditional Chinese medicine. Thought it was all a bunch of nonsense. Then I was convinced by DH to take a few health quizzes... and the darn things were so spot on it was eerie. Made a few lifestyle changes in line with the results and found... balance. Some medical problems I was having cleared up entirely. 

Then I rolled my eyes, internally, at a friend that talked about using gemstones to help balance energy and emotions. Noticing a trend? Yup, I now wear a lapis and onyx stone everywhere. They help balance the energy of my unborn child, who's energy type is pretty much opposite and much stronger than my own. It was that or carry around a jar of ice water...

So what do all these things have in common? They're all things that the pwPDs in my life would scoff at and dismiss out of hand without bothering to research or investigate. I was, by my initial reactions, living the habitual process of my old life. Some things, it seems, some fleas run very deep. I find myself being more open to new ideas now. I test them out, study them, decide whether they are true or not. But I don't jump right away to rolling my eyes anymore.

[Amadahy]

My first "a-ha!" in regard to addressing c-ptsd from Nmom's abuse was through tapping.  Powerful, yet easy.  And, I let it go all the dang time!  That is, until I get in such a place of angst that I remember again.  Silly, isn't it?  I think part of me thinks that everything in my life has been hard, so healing and coping must have to be hard, too.  But, thank goodness, tapping is easy and wildly effective.  Good job discovering this!

I resist many, many things that are good for my self-care and healing.  I'm trying to grant myself the loving care I'd gladly give to others.