Just had my first post-marriage breakup...and feeling good about it?

Started by Blackbird11, June 08, 2021, 11:20:02 AM

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Blackbird11

June 08, 2021, 11:20:02 AM
I am in utter shock. Not because the guy I was seeing for 6 months broke it off, but because it was such a wonderful and honest conversation filled with positive vibes from both sides. He just got divorced recently so I completely understand where he is coming from. He's not ready for a relationship, and you know what - I don't know if I am either!

But to be in a relationship with someone who is you know...nice, and honest, and not abusive - WHAT A CHANGE!

Dating is not easy but man it felt great to click with someone new and was definitely helpful as far as moving into the next phase of my life.

Blackbird11

#2
June 08, 2021, 02:12:50 PM
Ploughthrough, I never thought the day would come that I'd be dating again. It takes time but you do make it there! Also - I was SO WORRIED about what would happen if I ever had to break up with someone, or if someone wanted to break up with me. Turns out while it sucks (I really liked this dude!) it feels good just to be on the same page with someone and know that hey, maybe it didn't work out but that's ok, and we're still friends!

Boat Babe

#3
June 08, 2021, 02:19:15 PM
Breaking up with a healthy person is a clean pain. There's no second guessing, no shaming, no head-fuckery, no smear campaign, no insults.  Can still hurt like hell though ❤️❤️❤️
It gets better. It has to.

Blackbird11

#4
June 09, 2021, 04:56:16 AM
Yes BoatBabe, still hurts but it's definitely a more manageable pain. And I still feel so grateful for the time I got to spend with this person.

blacksheep7

#5
June 09, 2021, 11:13:07 AM
This  honest talk is a healthy mature breakup, no manipulation, lies or poor excuses that could have had you questioning yourself or hanging on to some kind of hope.

Your  perception of it all  reveals your good nature of self-worth and confidence.

Thank you for sharing.

Best wishes :yourock:

I may be the black sheep of the family, but some of the white sheep are not as white as they try to appear.

"When people show you who they are, believe them."
Maya Angelou

Kat54

#6
June 10, 2021, 09:33:29 AM
That's great to hear. Nothing with a PD was normal so a healthy relationship even if it's a breakup is not so bad.
In a dating relationship also, it feels nice to be with someone who is respectful, mature and not self centered and selfish.

Oscen

#7
June 21, 2021, 10:03:59 AM
Quote from: Boat Babe on June 08, 2021, 02:19:15 PM
Breaking up with a healthy person is a clean pain.

Great expression & very true. Everything about PD pain is contaminated & goes septic. A clean pain can heal.
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