Removing things that you have for no reason

[Prototypian]

My spouse has some weird OCPD quirks but one I can't understand is stuff that I have bothering her to the point that she has to actually change it or move it.    An example is my bathroom drawer.  It contains my antiperspirant, some collar stays for shirts, dental floss, nail clippers and stuff like that.  I also try to keep a small pair of scissors there.    We have scissors all over the house; in the kitchen, in the kids homework area, in desks, my workshop and I'm sure other places.   I keep them there because tags and things on shirts and paper things through button holes from the dry cleaner bug me.   She can't stand me having. Scissors there.   This is the only drawer I have in the bathroom out of two large cabinet drawers.   We have separate sinks.   My drawer is 1/10 the available space.   For some reason she hates me keeping a pair of scissors there.   It has nothing to do with a fear of scissors.   I even went to the store and bought my own pair and she still takes them out and puts them somewhere else.   I screwed an eye hook into the side of the drawer and attached them with a piece of wire and she actually unthreaded it and out them away.   When I asked her about it she just said, "I jusf don't think you should keep scissors in the bathroom." This is from a woman who keeps every vacuum bag lined up in the garage in shelves in case there are Legos that got sucked up.   Her starting point is that I shouldn't keep a pair of small scissors out of sight in the bathroom drawer. 

Then there is a water bottle I like to keep in the fridge.   Nothing special, just a nalgene water bottle.   It drives her up the wall.  I workout at 5 am and like.the water cold and it seriously doesn't hurt.   She can't handle that bottle being put in the fridge.  There are many strange reasons "it could have bacteria in it", "it will warm up the fridge or the fridge will work too hard". I'm an engineer so none of these make sense and she just gets angry.

I guess I'll not understand but it's such strange quirks.

[1footouttadefog]

It's about control.

I was controlled like that for way too long.

Now my answers are as such.

I am sorry my scissors bother you
  Please do not open my drawer and see them.  I live here and need those in that drawer.  It's not your choice to remove them.  It's my drawer please stay out of it.  If I find them missing again you might just find that this entire bathroom becomes mine.

I would install a combination lock on the door after the next invasion.

[Andeza]

1foot makes an excellent point. What the heck is she doing in your drawer!? Ah, ocpd, right. She thinks, no she believes with the entirety of her being from the top of her head down to the tips of her toes that her way is the way all things must be, and everybody else must abide by these rules. Control...

I could not live in that, I'll be honest. I don't know how you do it. I would be so stressed all the time that I wouldn't be a fully functioning human being.

[Prototypian]

I do tend to lose it a lot and often have shaking fits.   It's so difficult.   I thought of another one.   None of us are allowed to do the dishes unless she is physically gone like out of town.   They pile up but if you dare load the dishwasher or clean them you get into a lot of trouble.   It's about water wasting and soap usage and ensuring the dishwasher is completely full and in the correct way before it is run.

But that's not the issue.   Along with that she can't have dish soap out and available.   It jlmust be kept under the sink in the back with the cap on it.   I've tried buying smaller containers, buying my own dish soap, and eventually I bought a thing that drills through the counter and has a pump and a reservoir.   She was very angry and then since there was no way to just remove it she insists that it be emptied and will do that anytime she finds it working.   When I asked her about it she said that she doesn't want too much soap to be used and wants to be the person who does the dishes.   Which would be awesome if she would do them!!!  The dish soap thing is weird.  Anytime anyone starts to use it she races over to watch and see how much is dispensed.

[Cat of the Canals]

This sounds so infuriating. It really shows an utter lack of respect for you and your boundaries.

Practically speaking -- and I'm being a bit sneaky here -- do you think she'd "allow" a pair of nail scissors in the bathroom? Surely that is the place for such a thing. And while they aren't quite as functional as a full pair of scissors, I use them often for snipping off tags and things.

[Free2Bme]

This sounds maddening, to say the least jsinjin- 

Part of me would be tempted to 'undo' things a bit.  Like, fill the kitchen sink with water and loads of dish soap (just cuz), or buy 12 pairs of scissors for the bathroom and put a padlock on drawer. 

I knew a woman whose husband was an alcoholic, he constantly stonewalled her.  He would escape to his 'shed' in the back yard when she wanted him to talk to her and resolve matters.  After years of this, he came from work one day to find she had painted purple polka-dots all over his outbuilding.  I'm not saying this is good, but I can understand her frustration.

[BeautifulCrazy]

Before I separated from my OCPDh, this was one of the paradoxes in his behaviors that drove me absolutely bonkers....
I had to live in a space filled with useless or broken items that I was not allowed to throw out, move, or even touch. They had to be exactly where he wanted them. At the same time, I was not allowed to keep my own (needed and useful) things where I wanted, or where they were convenient and easily accessible.
Like you, Jsinjin, I had only one small drawer for my things in a bathroom chock full of storage, which included a huge, open shelf linen closet that was, at most, 1/3 full. I was also only allowed a small portion of closet space in our monstrous bedroom closet. And (grrrrrrr) "my" spaces were subject to rearrangement or redistribution at any time.
No privacy.
No choice. (I feel certain this is a form of abuse) 
Trying to point out the paradox or hypocrisy in these behaviors was futile. In his world, he was doing what was "correct". I was not.

I'm so grateful to be reminded of how awful it was to live like that.
I have my own space now. Relatively clutter free.
No strange, illogical rules about where or how things must be kept.

I notice you refer to these behaviors in your spouse as "quirks". That was how I initially perceived my husband too. Those things were "quirky", "interesting" and "unique". Now I see many of them (hopefully more accurately) as "pathological", "controlling" and "abusive".

I hope you can soon create your very own personal space, controlled and overseen by only you. Whether it is by making and enforcing some boundaries inside your marital home, or leaving and establishing a home of your own. My heart goes out to you Jsinjin!!

~BC