Parents not liking my boundaries

[JRPGFanatic]

There is a family gathering in a couple of weeks from now.  A couple of years ago, I set a ironclad boundary that I would not show up at family gatherings (outside of weddings and funerals) where my creepy molester uncle is also invited to attend.  My mother decided to invite the creepy molester uncle, so I told her I would not be going to this family gathering because I have my boundaries and I have my reasons for not wanting to be around him.

A few minutes later, I get a call from my stepfather, and he is furiously screaming at me, accusing me of emotionally blackmailing my mother because she wants the whole family to be together and I am very much hurting her by putting conditions on whether or not I will attend these family gatherings.  My stepfather also admitted to me that my mother believes that my uncle is not a molester and that the abuse is all in my head, because according to my mother, I always remember things differently than they actually happened.

I think it is time for me to go no contact with these people.  Life is too short to try to show these people any kind of consideration, and Lord knows I have given them chance after chance to see me as an actual human being.  The only reason why I have kept in touch with them is a sense of obligation - there were some good times with them in the past, and a part of me still loves them since they are my parents.  But yeah.  This is a bit too much of a boundary violation for me to consider keeping them around.

[Cat of the Canals]

Unfortunately, this is par for the course. They just can't seem to tolerate boundaries of any kind.

A parent trying to not only rugsweep abuse, but to guilt their child into spending time in close proximity with their abuser is pretty awful. I wouldn't blame you if this was the straw that broke the camel's back and caused you to go NC. And while no one can tell you when to go NC, I definitely think it sounds like you need at least a temporary break from these people.

[Call Me Cordelia]

 

Furiously screaming at you is so not okay. And the emotional blackmail accusation seems like projection to me!!! And the one about remembering things differently from reality. Also gaslighting.

Abusive tactics all over the place here. I'm so sorry.

[SunnyMeadow]

I agree with both of these posts and your post JRPG! No contact seems like a very logical choice after the extreme lack of caring and sensitivity from both of them.

They showed you who they are, believe them and move on.

[blacksheep7]

The uncle that molested you will be there

A Big reason to not attend.

I'm so sorry that your M did not believe you. 

They do not want to believe that there is a molester in the family.