Stepping outside

[Prototypian]

I read a book recently that is called "13 things mentally strong people don't do". It's probably already discussed in another forum here.   

From it I started looking at myself from outside of "me".  When I realized the uOCPDw was causing me to get into her drama I would point that out to me.   It's hard to describe. 

If there is a question of whether or not I'm allowing things that I can't control to ruin my happiness then I can tell myself I'm doing that.

It hasn't changed my situation but it has helped me not be as down about it.   That's made me a lot healthier emotionally.

[SonofThunder]

Jsinjin,

Thanks for the insight into the methods you are finding helpful!  Stepping outside and looking back in, will hopefully be continually beneficial for you as you move forward day by day.  Wishing you constant, growing emotional health!

SoT

[1footouttadefog]

Emotionally disconnecting like that can be very informative and self protective.

Alot of the abuse pd folks dish out hurts because we give them permission to hut us by being emotionally vulnerable.

This starts out with the normal expectation that relationships that are emotionally intimate require this vulnerability.  It's hard to roll it back once we realize we are not getting the intimacy we expected.