How to deal with narcissistic types Online?

[mary_poppins]

I'm obsessed with social media and online communities so I am active in some online groups. Anyway, I recently posted a question in a group regarding my field of work. I got helpful and also negative replies. One guy said I didn't ask the question right (as if there's such a thing!!), another was angry because I expressed an opinion that he didn't like. I think there were few people who are actually nice and give decent replies but a whole bunch of the responders sounded condescending and narcissistic. As if there is a right and a wrong to ask something about a subject you don't know much about. If you're open to learning, you should not be put off by people asking questions. Questions are what helps us learn and grow, right?

Anyway, how do you deal with narcissistic types of online group members who only want to point out how wrong you were and love lecturing you?
I promised myself to use social media less because they're many of these types of individuals out there who love bringing you down.
But sometimes you need some groups to learn new things and get some advice.

BTW, the social media channel I'm talking about here is Reddit. I haven't had a problem with it until yesterday when a bunch of bullies replied to the question I was talking about.

I know it shouldn't matter that much because they are strangers on the internet. However, I'm still affected by them.

[square]

I avoid toxic places. Period.

We can't tame toxic people. So there isn't any strategy to asking questions that will keep you safe from them. For people who survive by one-upping others, they will jump all over any opportunity to do so. And asking a question opens the door for them to find a few seconds of relief in trashing you for admitting you don't know something.

You may find some areas of Reddit to be ok. (Or maybe not). I have found some places on the Internet to be comfortable. Others, I'm not wasting my time on.

[Hazy111]

Social media is  "narcissistic supply" as confirmed to me by Oliver James clinical psychologist and author of the seminal work "They f**k you up. How to survive family life" .

Judged by number of followers, likes. retweets etc.  Designed by narcissists for narcissist's.

[Cascade]

I think the best way to deal with people like that online is to ignore them, but I know that's not easy to do. Some groups are better than others so you could try another group if there's too many narcissists in your current groups.

[Hattie]

Block/mute/unfollow/ ignore

[Andeza]

Waaaaay back when I was a moderator on a forum we had a simple and concise way of putting it. Don't feed the trolls.

The narcs just want a rise out of you, and frankly they don't merit a response or any of the headspace you're giving them. See their dumb comments, snort to yourself over the pomposity of it, and carry on without a second thought. They ain't worth it.

So yes, block, mute, etc. This is something that happens all the time online and even in MMORPGs. (I game) There's narcs, mean people, and people trying to pick a fight all the time. I saw once a person in an online game suddenly bursts out in general chat "Bacon is best! Fight me!" They just want attention and a verbal sparring match. Ignoring them tends to be amusing. On another, some guy got in chat and started calling the game dumb, stupid, etc. He was met with a chorus of "Don't like it? Play something else!" Trash talking and smack talking exist because people want to stir up some drama.

[1footouttadefog]

I think that sometimes these things come in waves all of the sudden then settle out.

I wonder at times if it's an AI thing.  I know that sounds paranoid but they say there is some pretty horrible things in the design and programming if social media to intentionally cause people to feel bad about themselves then seek more dopamine hits from likes and such.

I agree it's good to step back and take a break when it does not feel good.

I got rid of Facebook years ago for similar reasons.  I return need for a while because one of my real life groups was using it to keep contact etc.  I did so with a false name and had NO Friends.  I accepted no requests.  This way I only interacted within my groups.  It was less stressful, I had no feeds and only talked on topic in the groups.

Later our group was kicked off of Facebook over a year ago because we were discussing subversive topics like growing organic gardens, raising chickens,  local food security in the face of global lockdowns, growing herbs and herbal medicine as it might relate to dealing with covid symptoms. 

I now am off Facebook once more, and now only interact in moderated topic specific forums like this one.  I don't miss the ads, politicisation of all topics, and the negativity and trolls and bullies. 

I am not sore how to handle the nasty folks other than blocking them so you don't see their comments.